Monday, February 28
The Day After the Oscars:

Posted by HelloThoughts on the Kodak Theatre Train Wreck

Chris Rock has done the impossible: he made Sean “Puffy/P. Diddy” Combs look classy. The 77th Academy Awards were better than I could have imagined. Keeping in mind that I wanted the show to fail on every possible level, that’s one tough task. It’s three in the morning, and you find yourself watching some B-level horror movie on Cinemax. It’s pretty much terrible, and you know you should turn the channel, but something compels you to keep watching. Whatever that ‘something’ happens to be, it kept me watching the entire four (or was it five?) hour telecast.
Truth be told, I think Chris Rock can be hilariously funny. His comedy routinely leaves me in stitches. But it seems that once he accepted the Oscar gig, every ounce of humor high-tailed it from his body. (A common occurrence for anyone associated with the Academy). In a shameless attempt to bolster ratings, Rock gave an Entertainment Weekly interview last week in which he said awards for art are “idiotic,” that no self-respecting straight (and/or black) man ever watches the show, and that ‘abortion is beautiful,’ a joke taken directly from the movie Dogma. These statements brought about quite a stir amongst the more old-fashioned entertainment community and a personal vendetta for Matt Drudge. I, one the other hand, saw it for what it was: shoddy material. Insulting your target audience and recycling old Kevin Smith jokes is not controversial; it’s just pathetic. Deprived of his favorite crutches, four-letter words and race jokes, Rock gave the Academy exactly what it deserved.
Someone obviously forgot to tell Chris Rock some very fundamental things about his audience. 1) The people in the room have no sense of humor about themselves, and 2) the people watching at home have no sense of humor about celebrity politics. Giving the smackdown to Nicole Kidman, Tobey Maguire, and Jude Law, Rock launched a vitriolic attack on an odd array for celebrities. Kidman's fake smile is no more fake than any other botoxed runner-up, and besides, she already has herself an Oscar. Maguire may just be "a boy in tights,' but those tights earned another $200 million for their studio this year. Law has been in nine billion movies lately, but to ask "who is Jude Law?" is a joke that would've been better served five years ago, when he wasn't an Academy-Award nominated A-List actor. I despise Gwyneth Paltrow, but even I winced when Rock introduced her as “the first person to breastfeed an Apple.” And trust me, if you find yourself making a crack about Joan Rivers, you are one Oprah-Uma joke away from the bottom of the idea barrel, my friend.
The audience gave polite applause and laughs, except for an aghast Kirsten Dunst, and just to make sure he offended the most people possible, Rock went on to talk about-shockingly-politics! As obvious and mandatory as his later Janet Jackson mention, he spent five minutes ranting about President Bush and WMD. How this is relevant in any, way, shape, or form is beyond me. I’m trying to picture Rock’s notes on this.

A) Say I’m not gonna Bush-bash, and then bash Bush.
B) Lavish Michael Moore with praise
C) Compare the loss of human lives to blood- soaked tank tops at The Gap
D) Thank the troops.

And with that, five million television sets clicked over to see what was happening on Fox.

If you were to read today’s papers having not seen last night’s show, you’d probably think it was a smashing success, hilariously irreverent and entertaining. I haven’t seen this much denial since the media claimed John Edwards won the Vice-Presidential debate. Were we watching the same program? Sure, Rock had a few good lines, such as seeing Boat Trip and sending Cuba Gooding eighty dollars, but most of his jokes landed so hard facelifts in the audience started to fall. A very funny intro by Robin Williams and a tribute to Johnny Carson were like rubbing salt in the wound of what could have been. The only way it could’ve been worse is if they tapped Conan O’Brien for hosting duty. Come to think of it, if they wanted “edgy,” they should’ve hired Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog. Or Team America’s Kim Jong-il. Now that’s edgy humor. With 364 days until next year’s telecast, I hope someone tore ass over to Ellen Degeneres’s place to start begging her to host. I don’t care how many fruit baskets it takes. She’s the most genuinely funny comic working today.
Beg her.
posted by Jessica at 8:33 PM | Permalink |
Friday, February 25
What does it mean?,6115,1010092_1_0_,00.html

Please visit this site to read Entertainment Weekly's Oscar predictions, which are approximately 90% consistent with mine. Note again that I have seen only one of the films I've written about and did not read the EW article prior to writing my picks. I have, however, listened to the current buzz and read the past six years of Entertainment Weekly's Oscar issues. They, as well as the rest of the industry, have become so sadly predictable that there's hardly any point tuning in. Except to make fun of people's clothes. That never gets old.
posted by Jessica at 1:33 PM | Permalink |
The Race for Best Supporting Actress
Cate Blanchett “The Aviator”
For her: Blanchett is always excellent, and it’s more than time to make up for her 1998 Elizabeth snub.
Against her: Madsen has been coming on strong.
Odds: 2:1

Virginia Madsen “Sideways”
For her: She’s been collecting critic’s awards all season; could pull a Marcia Gay Harden.
Against her: Doesn’t have the notoriety of the other nominees.

Natalie Portman “Closer”
For her: She shines in her first “grown-up” role; this is the category for ingénues.
Against her: The fact that in this category, anything can happen.

Laura Linney “Kinsey”
For her: Many felt she was overlooked for 2000’s You Can Count on Me; now could be the time to reward her.
Against her: It’s the film’s only nomination.

Sophie Okenedo “Hotel Rwanda”
For her: Everyone who saw the film praised its cast.
Against her: But how many people saw it? In the toughest category of the year, she’s not a frontrunner.
posted by Jessica at 1:25 PM | Permalink |
The Race for Best Supporting Actor
Clive Owen “Closer”
For him: Delving into a complex role in a complex movie, Owen showed America how good he really is;
Against him: This won’t be his last nomination; the Academy may decide to make him wait.
Odds: 2:1

Thomas Haden Church “Sideways”
For him: Revitalized his career with a movie that will assure that he’s never referred to as “that guy from Wings” again.
Against him: Giamatti’s snub doesn’t bode well for the film in the acting categories.
Odds: 3:1

Morgan Freeman “Million Dollar Baby”
For him: He’s a beloved veteran in a film that critics and voters just loved; if Swank and Eastwood win their categories, it could be a Baby sweep.
Against him: There’s just too much competition.
Odds: 5:1

Jamie Foxx “Collateral”
For him: Playing off a villainous Tom Cruise, Foxx proves that Ray is no fluke.
Against him: He’ll split his own vote, and the majority will go to Ray.
Odds: 7:1

Alan Alda “The Aviator”
For him: Cate Blanchett may end up taking Best Supporting Actress for the same movie, and association never hurts.
Against him: It’s an honor just to be nominated.
Odds: 10:1
posted by Jessica at 1:11 PM | Permalink |
The Race for Best Actress

Posted by HelloHillary Swank “Million Dollar Baby”
For her: she managed to beat Bening back in 1999, and once again her role is the more dramatic of the two; major critical praise
Against her: Don’t count Bening out just yet.
Odds: 3:2

Annette Bening “Being Julia”
For her: Hollywood loves being able to honor the few great roles out there for middle-aged actresses.
Against her: No one wants to hear an Annette Bening acceptance speech.
Odds: 3:1

Kate Winslet “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”
For her: Two fantastic performances this year from an Academy favorite.
Against her: Sunshine’s March release has pushed it from voters minds.
Odds: 5:1

Imelda Staunton “Vera Drake”
For her: A moving performance about a controversial topic.
Against her: This race is Swank’s and Bening’s to lose.
Odds: 10:1

Catalina Sandino Moreno “Maria Full of Grace”
For her: First Colombian actress to be nominated for an Oscar.
Against her: She’s the youngest and least famous of the five.
Odds: 15:1
posted by Jessica at 12:12 PM | Permalink |
Wednesday, February 23
Your snotty elitism has been noted. Now how 'bout you bite me, LA Weekly.
Will Chris Rock Be Oscar Dyn-O-Mite?

If Rock bombs he’ll have only himself (and maybe conservatives) to blame

No wonder the Red Staters are having heart attacks. These are the same rabid dogs, after all, who wouldn’t even let the Democratic presidential candidate speak ill of W. Now a comedian’s got a gig to do it in front of an audience of hundreds of millions. Rock is “the wrong host,” claimed Concerned Women for America (a.k.a. Conservative Operatives), “unless Hollywood wants to demonstrate how far out of touch it is with the rest of America.” We know their drill come Oscar time: attack, attack, attack, and beat Hollywood into obedient silence. “As long as you salute the right wing, you are endowed with great intelligence and patriotic spirit. But anyone else who speaks up with independence is some sort of traitorous bastard. It’s such a tired act,” says Hollywood activist Mike Farrell (M.A.S.H., Providence) defending Rock’s right to be funny. “I just turned down a Geraldo interview about why Hollywood is out of step with the rest of the country. This is such bullshit.”
posted by Jessica at 6:31 PM | Permalink |
Thank God.
Stay extended in Schiavo case

Judge wants to considerrequest for medical tests
posted by Jessica at 6:28 PM | Permalink |
Despite its title, not a story about the Clinton/McCain Middle East lovefest.
Hungry rats attack sleeping people

Incidents of rat attacks are extremely rare in everyday practice
A rat has recently attacked a little baby in the city of Tver, Central Russia. When the baby-girl was sleeping alone in the room, a rat attacked the child and started biting her furiously in the face. The little girl was hospitalized as a result of the incident - doctors of the local hospital managed to save the child's life, although the girl had to stay in the reanimation department of the hospital for quite a long time.
posted by Jessica at 6:25 PM | Permalink |
I'm gonna go with 'yes'
Will Howard Dean Be The Gift That Keeps On Giving?

What could Dean have said that might have torpedoed the resurrected Dean legacy before it was just a short 24-hours old? Here's a short list of some past Deanisms that might gives us some clues:
· The doctor once said that Osama bin Laden should be presumed innocent and receive a fair trial.
· He called Hamas terrorists "soldiers.”
· "If Bill Clinton could be the first black president, I can be the first gay president."
· Ted Kennedy says that the party needs to head towards the South and West. Might take some doing since Dean is already on record as dismissing the South. "I don't want to be the candidate for guys with Confederate flags in their pickup trucks.” Whoops!
posted by Jessica at 6:23 PM | Permalink |
Well praise Jesus.
Korn Guitarist Finds God, Leaves Band

Welch broke the news Sunday on Bakersfield, Calif., station KRAB-FM.
"I had it in my heart to come here and explain to you," Welch said. "I'm good friends with Korn. I love those guys, and they love me, and they're very happy for me."
Addressing the aggressive tone of the music he made with Korn, Welch said, "Anger is a good thing, and if kids want to listen to Korn, good, but there's happiness after the anger. I'm going to show it through my actions how much I love my fans."
Welch added that he would be appearing at a local church on Feb. 27, during which time he would "speak (about) how I got to this place in my life, and I'll answer all your questions."

Welch would also like to add that he has discovered something called "good music." Due to this amazing find, he would like to apologize to any and all who have been subjected to his ill-conceived noise pollution.
posted by Jessica at 6:17 PM | Permalink |
IL Robber Busted By Bragging On Live Radio

Crime doesn't pay, and apparently - neither does bragging about it.
A Chicago man is facing bank robbery charges after authorities say he called into a Chicago radio station and bragged about the heist. The robbery at a TCF Bank in Chicago last April went unsolved until a bank worker heard the man's call to a popular confessions show. The caller bragged that he and five others tied up employees and got away with $81,000. A bank worker recognized details from the confession as matching the hold-up at her bank and called authorities.

The FBI traced the call to a cell phone belonging to 24-year-old Randy Washington of Dolton. He and another man are now facing federal charges, and authorities are looking for four others.
posted by Jessica at 6:16 PM | Permalink |
Oh those wacky insurgents! What kidders!
Beheaded Female Body Found in Northern Iraq

The beheaded body of a woman has been discovered in the suburbs of the town of Erbil, Northern Iraq, the Iraqi daily Sabah reported. Police say the body might of the journalist who was kidnapped two days ago in the town of Mosul. Raeda Wazzan, a journalist working for a government-funded television station, was kidnapped along with her son, aged 10.

Just a friendly reminder of what the "insurgency" is really all about. Here's a hint: it ends in death, not in court.
posted by Jessica at 6:11 PM | Permalink |
Aren't his 15 minutes up yet? Damn dirty liar.
Churchill admits he's not Native-American

"I never wanted to be a poster boy for academic freedom. You can't give an inch. If you let this one down, you've lost it all."
Ward Churchill
posted by Jessica at 6:08 PM | Permalink |
Tuesday, February 22
Thank God.
Giant boot finds its way home

The boot is back.Dr. Leslie Madden said she is relieved that the 8-foot-tall, 150-pound boot that disappeared Friday night has been returned to her Zero Road home west of Casper with only a few scratches."I was afraid it was in Texas by now," Madden said Monday as she stood beside the brightly painted boot in the safety of her garage.

(click link for accompanying picture)
posted by Jessica at 7:12 PM | Permalink |
It's never too soon to start indoctrinating the Ivy League's Class of 2016.
February 22, 2005 -- The city Department of Education, red-faced over Brooklyn sixth-graders who slammed a GI with demoralizing anti-Iraq-war letters as part of a school assignment, will send the 20-year-old private a letter of apology today.

Deputy Schools Chancellor Carmen Farina, who has a nephew serving in Iraq, plans to personally contact Pfc. Rob Jacobs and his family, said department spokeswoman Michele McManus Higgins.
"She knows how difficult it is to have a loved one in a war zone," Higgins said.
Jacobs is stationed 10 miles from the North Korean border and who has been told he may be headed to Iraq in the near future.

The GI got the ranting missives last month from pint-sized pen pals at JHS 51 in Park Slope.
Filled with political diatribes, the letters — excerpts of which were printed in yesterday's Post — predicted GIs would die by the tens of thousands, accused soldiers of killing Iraqi civilians and bashed President Bush.
Teacher Alex Kunhardt had his students write Jacobs as part of a social-studies assignment.

He declined to comment yesterday on whether he read the rants before passing them along, but said he planned to contact Jacobs soon to explain the situation.

In an accompanying letter to Jacobs, Kunhardt had written that the students "come from a variety of backgrounds and political beliefs, but unanimously support the bravery and sacrifice of American soldiers around the world."
"Support" was not the word that came to Jacobs' mind when he read the letters.

One girl wrote that she believes Jacobs is "being forced to kill innocent people" and challenged him to name an Iraqi terrorist, concluding, "I know I can't."

Another girl wrote, "I strongly feel this war is pointless," while a classmate predicted that because Bush was re-elected, "only 50 or 100 [soldiers] will survive."

A boy accused soldiers of "destroying holy places like mosques."

Even one kid smitten with soldiers couldn't keep politics out of the picture, writing, "I find that many extreme liberals are disrespectful to you."
posted by Jessica at 7:08 PM | Permalink |
The Race for Best Actor
Jamie Foxx “Ray”
For him: A career-making performance in a film that he carried on his shoulders; the best buzz of the group.
Against him: In terms of industry credibility, Foxx is the new kid on the block; older voters may decide to make him wait.
Odds: Even

Leonardo DiCaprio “The Aviator”
For him: After snubs for Titanic and Gangs of New York, the third time could be the charm.
Against him: That pesky Jamie Foxx.
Odds: 3:1

Johnny Depp “Finding Neverland”
For him: A more respectable film choice for the people who wanted to vote for his performance in last year’s Pirates of the Caribbean; Depp is always superb.
Against him: This is not his year.
Odds: 4:1

Don Cheadle “Hotel Rwanda”
For him: Another standout performance from a perennially overlooked actor; nominated despite his movie missing out on the big awards.
Against him: Voters know this will not be Cheadle’s last nomination; he’ll be coronated another time.
Odds: 10:1

Clint Eastwood “Million Dollar Baby”
For him: Hollywood loves their actor/directors.
Against him: Most votes for Clint will go for direction, taking up an acting slot that probably should’ve gone to Jim Carrey or Paul Giamatti.
Odds: 15:1
posted by Jessica at 4:29 PM | Permalink |
The Race for Best Director
Clint Eastwood
For him: The DGA and several other critics awards have given him stronger momentum in these final days; voters love that he tackled euthanasia; glowing praise from his cast, who have been picking up a few awards of their own.
Against him: Voters may decide this is the year to finally reward Scorcese.
Odds: 3-2

Martin Scorcese
For him: Headed up the grandest of the Best Picture nominees; Last year’s loss to Roman Polanski was viewed by many as unjust; And just how is it possible that Martin Scorcese doesn’t have an Oscar?
Against him: Clint and four previous nods, no wins; he’s the Susan Lucci of the Academy Awards.
Odds: 3-1

Alexander Payne
For him: In the off chance that Eastwood and Scorcese split their vote, Payne would be the next to slip through.
Against him: this movie’s about the actors and the script, not the direction.
Odds: 8-1

Taylor Hackford
For him: Possibly riding the high off of Jamie Foxx’s Best Actor win.
Against him: It’s still Foxx’s movie.
Odds: 15-1

Mike Leigh
For him: It’s an honor just to be nominated; his Vera Drake wasn’t even nominated for Best Picture.
Against him: Vera Drake wasn’t even nominated for Best Picture
Odds: 20-1
posted by Jessica at 4:08 PM | Permalink |
The Race for Best Picture
The Aviator
For it: The last time DiCaprio and Scorcese teamed up, Gangs of New York took home Best Picture, and voters may be looking to reward the duo here since they won’t be winning Best Actor or Best Director this year; Hollywood loves movies about Hollywood.
Against it: Could be sucker-punched by Million Dollar Baby.
Odds- 3:2

Million Dollar Baby
For it: Eastwood took home the DGA, a good predictor of Best Picture; Swank is a former Academy darling; since Fahrenheit 9/11 got shut-out, Baby might provide a new outlet for liberal frustration.
Against it: Do you know anyone who saw it? Me neither.
Odds- 3:1

For it: Easily has the biggest buzz surrounding it; Hollwood loves its underdogs.
Against it: Small fish, big pond; look for it to take Best Adapted Screenplay instead.
Odds- 5-1

Finding Neverland
For it: Probably the crowd favorite of the bunch; industry darlings Winslet and Depp provide mega-watt starpower; Shakespeare in Love managed to steal the award from the formidable Saving Private Ryan.
Against it: Only Best Picture nominated film to not get a Best Director nod as well; Neverland never got near the amount of buzz as Shakespeare.
Odds: 10:1

For it: One of the rare biopics that also makes really good cinema; the death of Ray Charles makes the film all the more bittersweet; Charles posthumously swept the Grammys.
Against it: Ray is all about Jamie Foxx, and that’s where voters will reward the film.
Odds- 15:1
posted by Jessica at 3:43 PM | Permalink |
The Academy Awards are on Sunday. This blog will be offering full coverage and insight on all things Hollywood from now until then.

Posted by HelloI have a confession to make: I have not seen a single Best Picture nominee this year. In fact, other than Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, I haven’t seen a single movie nominated in any major category. I won’t let this preclude me from commentating on them though. If Hollywood has taught me nothing else, you don’t have to know what you’re talking about to give your opinion; you just have to have a platform.

Guide to the Oscars, 2004 edition

Best Picture

The Aviator- “The Blockbuster”
a.k.a. “The Frontrunner.” This movie has grossed more than the other four nominees combined and is likely the only one Middle America has actually seen. Nine times out of ten, it will be the winner.
see: Titanic, Saving Private Ryan, Gladiator, The Lord of the Rings trilogy

Finding Neverland- “The Feel-Good Tearjerker”
There has to be one film in the mix that made you cry. It can be sweetly sentimental or tragically depressing, but tissues were definitely involved.

See: Shakespeare in Love, Chocolat, Moulin Rouge, Seabiscuit

Million Dollar Baby- “The Issue Film”
The film where Hollywood takes a hot-button issue and injects its two cents. Ten times out of ten, the liberal side of the argument will win. All characters on the opposing side will be portrayed as evil, rich, white, racist, homophobic Republicans. This is so studio heads can give soundbites about how “important” movies are to society.

See: The Cider House Rules, The Insider, Traffic, The Hours

Sideways- “The Indy Underdog”
Inevitably there will be one film in the mix that no one saw coming. Before its surprise success, movie critics and producers had completely written it off. Typically the movie has no bankable stars and is also nominated for Best Screenplay. Because it is on the outside of Hollywood politics, it has no chance of actually taking the Oscar.

See: The Full Monty, Good Will Hunting, Lost in Translation

Ray- “The Star Vehicle”
Rarer but still prevalent is the film that would never have been nominated but for its world-famous director and/or star. This is not to say that the film is bad, but it cannot stand on its own without its star performance. Remove the star from the equation and the whole thing falls apart.

See: Erin Brokovich, A Beautiful Mind, Gangs of New York

posted by Jessica at 2:58 PM | Permalink |
"It's all about the art man!"
It's no wonder that Renee Zellweger, Al Pacino and Dustin Hoffman will be beaming like spotlights when they step on the red carpet at the Oscars Sunday night.

As presenters, they'll be going home with gift baskets stuffed with loot likely valued at more than $100,000.
posted by Jessica at 1:43 PM | Permalink |
When they take that ten grand they spent on their dress and give it to charity, then we'll talk.
Global Green USA's 'Red Carpet -- Green Cars' Campaign Promotes Energy Independence, Fuel Efficiency

LOS ANGELES, Feb. 22 -- Joining the ranks of celebrities choosing to bring an environmental conscience to the Oscars, Leonardo DiCaprio, Charlize Theron, Robin Williams, Orlando Bloom, Salma Hayek, Penelope Cruz, Morgan Freeman, Julie Delpy and Tim Robbins are among those arriving at the 2005 Academy Awards in high-mileage, low emission,
Toyota Prius hybrids as part of Global Green's 3rd annual "Red Carpet-Green Cars" campaign.

With world-wide attention focused on the awards ceremony, Global Green organizes fuel-efficient transportation each year to allow celebrities the opportunity to demonstrate their concern for promoting energy independence, combating global warming and protecting the environment. Past participants in the effort have included Harrison
Ford, Calista Flockhart, Cameron Diaz, Will Ferrell, Marcia Gay Harden, Sting and Jack Black.

"Hybrid cars help us conserve natural resources and preserve the planet. Choosing a hybrid is something everyone can do today to help reduce our negative impact on the environment," said Orlando Bloom, actor and Oscar presenter at this year's Academy Awards.

Advanced technology vehicles offer a cleaner, more efficient transportation solution. The partial zero emission (PZEV) Prius, for example, is EPA rated to get up to 60 miles per gallon in the city (55 mpg combined) and produces almost 90 percent fewer emissions than the average vehicle.

"By foregoing gas-guzzling limos, Oscar attendees show their support for fuel efficient cars to decrease our dependence on fossil fuels, reduce air pollution, and stem climate change," said Matt Petersen, president of Global Green USA. "By choosing to ride in a fuel-efficient car, like the Prius, they send a strong message to the American people and the world that we can all be part of the solution to global warming and our addiction to

Global Green USA, the U.S. affiliate of Green Cross International led by Mikhail S. Gorbachev, works in cooperation with individuals, industry, and governments to create a global value shift toward a sustainable and secure future. For more information, or to join Leonardo DiCaprio and others in signing Global Green's "Pledge of Allegiance to American Energy Independence," please visit
posted by Jessica at 1:39 PM | Permalink |
Halt! Put the Kool-Aid down.

Posted by HelloTom Cruise Wants to Assist with on-set Scientology.

In the upcoming Steven Spielberg remake of War of the Worlds, one family fights for survival when Earth is invaded by Martian war machines. But on the set of the movie, there’s been an invasion of another sort: Scientologists! Tom Cruise, the film’s star and the religion’s most well-known adherent, has set up a Scientology tent with a volunteer minister. “It’s a gift from Tom to the crew,” says Lee Anne De Vette, Cruise’s sister and spokeswoman. “You can receive what’s called an assist there,” a Scientologist practice that, as she describes it, seems to be a glorified mini-massage. “If someone has an injury in a certain part of their body, if their back is killing them, they can come in and get an assist. It’s something that helps the body get in better communication with itself.” Actual Scientology literature is available, too, in case “someone walks in looking for a solution.” All of which has caused a certain amount of grumbling. Scientology watchdog Rick Ross says that he’s received e-mails from crew members wondering, “Where are the booths for the Catholics and the Jews?”
posted by Jessica at 1:19 PM | Permalink |
How Far We Have Fallen

I am an opponent of the death penalty whenever we aren't absolutely sure that the person is guilty of a capital crime. I certainly oppose the punishment of innocent people. But in Florida they are about to put an innocent woman to death.

The courts have heard the appeals, and rejected them. The governor has tried to grant clemency, but the courts overruled him. Her parents have pleaded for mercy, but their cries fall on deaf ears. And the media, which normally can be counted on to side with those sentenced to die, are silent or speak favorably in this particular case.

I do not speak of a criminal, but of Terri Schindler-Schiavo. Terri is a severely handicapped woman. Terri's "crime" is to live in an age when we have so devalued life that courts (and many of our fellow human beings) think they do us a favor by ending it.

Terri is not kept alive by machines. She breathes on her own, and has ever since her incident in 1990. Being paralyzed, she does need help to eat. She is fed through a tube, although her parents believe she might be able to eat normally if given a chance.
posted by Jessica at 1:17 PM | Permalink |
Punk ass-kicking alert:

DETROIT -- Feel our president's pain. He's in Europe on a diplomatic mission and he's squirming, mechanically going through his duties, checking his watch and dreaming of the flight back home and a return to his Texas dacha. For George W. Bush, this is an ordeal he'd love to avoid, but he must, at least, show the world he's trying, however disingenuously, to improve U.S. relations with Europe.

Bush loves any visit to a military base or aircraft carrier, where he can address the folks in uniform. The cheers and adoration are guaranteed. He craves those opportunities. His eyes light up and he struts around like a bantam rooster.

For Bush, a visit to Europe rates below even news conferences or an actual conversation with a real, unscreened American not used for political prop purposes.

For Bush, Europe is torture. Imagine him locked in a cell for a week. No satellite for 24-hour sports on TV. The only station is PBS. There are video games available, but the controller won't work. The only music blasting into the cell is one of Barbra Streisand's greatest hits, U2's "How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb" and Beethoven's "Missa Solemnis." No Bible in the cell. There are just two books: John Steinbeck's "The Grapes of Wrath" and Sister Helen Prejean's new book, "The Death of Innocents." The cell food is continental. No lemonade, just cases of Perrier. A few days of that and our brave commander in chief would be turning over state secrets Cheney let him in on to get out.

He had worked at the White House for 11 years. Scheib said he got fired because he failed to meet "the first lady's stylistic requirements." There are reports that Scheib chaffed at White House orders to create an inaugural menu that honored brand names representing food companies of top Bush campaign donors. The chef had to whip up entrees using choice ingredients that included Krispy Kreme doughnuts, Coca-Cola and Pilgrims Pride butter-basted turkeys. Yummy! At least the Busheviks are consistent. Integrity means nothing, from the kitchen to the cabinet.

Suck it, Yankee waterboy. No one cares what you have to say.
posted by Jessica at 1:12 PM | Permalink |
On the bright side, no one cares who moved the cheese anymore.
Da Vinci Code? What a Yawn!

I'm reading The Da Vinci Code." That's one example. That and "The one book I'd love to be stuck with on a desert island is Conversations With God."

The next television star to spout those statements to the press is going to get it from me.

I understand, of course, that celebrities need to show the rest of us that they're literate. I sympathise completely because, let's face it, few of them are. At the same time, to pick titles that are strong contenders for 'Ghastly Prose of the Year' awards is tragic.

Consider this, from the opening lines of The Da Vinci Code: 'Jacques Saunière staggered through the vaulted archway of the museum's Grand Gallery. He lunged for the nearest painting he could see, a Caravaggio.'

If this were a scene in a film, it would give Martin Scorsese a brain aneurysm. Why does Saunière 'stagger' through the archway? Why does he have to 'lunge' for the nearest painting? Why mention the revolutionary Merisi da Caravaggio, when approximately four of Dan Brown's readers will probably have heard of him?
posted by Jessica at 1:07 PM | Permalink |
Yeah but do they only speak Russian?
Scientists breed cute tame foxes

After 45 years of breeding, tame foxes that wag their tails, greet humans with excited barks and look cute have been born in Siberia.

The original foxes were all black, but the new critters have white patches, big floppy ears, and curly tails.
The new foxes are also more curious, better at understanding humans, and less frightened of new things.

The scientists bred about 45,000 foxes to get to the tame stage.
When breeding the animals, they only chose them on how well they responded to people.
But the physical changes came as well - making scientists think cuteness comes along with being tame.

They also taste like chicken and can easily fit into all overhead storage facilities. Be sure to collect all the latest fashions for you new friend at! Shipping and handling not included.
posted by Jessica at 1:01 PM | Permalink |
Whew. I'm glad that's settled.
Penguins can stay gay
A German zoo has scrapped plans to break up homosexual penguin couples following protests from gay rights groups.

She added that the penguins had shown little interest in their new female companions but said that the programme could have been started too late in the year.

Gay groups had earlier protested against "the organised and forced harassment through female seductresses" in an open letter to Bremerhaven's Mayor Joerg Schulz.

We've got to put a stop to those damn siren penguins. I heard one of them say just yesterday to leave the money on the igloo dresser. Hussies.
posted by Jessica at 12:57 PM | Permalink |
I bet PETA's eating this up, so to speak.
Artist covers herself with raw meat

A Chilean performance artist is causing controversy by covering her naked body with raw meat.

(click for the picture at least; it's priceless)
posted by Jessica at 12:53 PM | Permalink |
Sometimes it's really fun being a bitch.
February 22, 2005 -- CHER is not a fan of the younger generation of pop stars. During a concert in Auckland, New Zealand, last weekend, she told 20,000 fans: "I'm not going to give up show business but I'm going to give up touring because, you know, there are all of these young girls coming out like Britney [Spears] and J.Lo." The crowd booed at the names and, according to New Zealand wire reports, Cher smirked: "I know — they are ho's, aren't they?" A rep for Spears and Lopez told PAGE SIX: "For someone who has had their fair share of bad press, it is surprising she would comment on two women she hardly knows."
posted by Jessica at 12:51 PM | Permalink |
Somewhere there's a producer looking to turn this into a reality show.
Fat police lock up Chris

SOBBING 31-stone Chris Leppard was dragged off to a mental hospital against his will by meddling social workers and police.
Chris, 23, has been forcibly detained for a month because he cannot stop eating.
The authorities used powers normally used to detain mentally ill people who might harm themselves or others.
They locked him up despite the fact neither he nor his family wanted him to go. Last night Chris’s furious mother Anne said he has no mental problems and was winning his fight against the rare illness that compels him to eat.,,2-2005082504,00.html
posted by Jessica at 12:49 PM | Permalink |
Monday, February 21
She has my vote.
Dump Chris Rock—Draft DeGeneres

Perhaps they also should have reviewed one of his lively comic routines before hiring him. Maybe then they would have learned that he’s a racist swine with a penchant for ideas that would make death row inmates blush.
posted by Jessica at 6:50 PM | Permalink |
This sums it up nicely.
Why I'm not a Liberal anymore....
AS Burns
I hate to admit it but I have to. I can’t take Liberals anymore. I tried to be open minded. I tried to realize there are many points of view. But even the Liberals I know that I never used to consider radical have made me crazy. I don’t get them. And I can’t respect them. It’s just gone too far. It’s all in their answers:

Ask a Liberal of the two events that occurred roughly at the same time, which one did they scream about: The Abu Ghraib prisoner abuse or the beheading of Nick Berg. They’ll say Abu Ghraib.

Ask a Liberal which is more unjust: The lack of Geneva Convention status for the prisoners at Guantanamo Bay or the imprisonment of journalists in Castro’s prisons in Cuba and they’ll tell you it’s the prisoners at Guantanamo.

Ask a Liberal who is the greatest threat to women’s issues and they’ll tell you its George Bush rather than the Taliban.

Ask a Liberal if a Fundamentalist Christian is evil and they will say “yes”. Ask them if a fanatical terrorist is and they’ll say “no”.

Ask a Liberal if we should help the poor and oppressed and they say “Yes.”. Ask them if we should have gotten rid of Saddam or the Taliban and they say “No.”.

Ask a Liberal if we should be dependent on foreign oil and they will say “No”. Ask them if we can drill anywhere in the US or set up a wind farm near their home and they will say “No”!

Ask a Liberal what their biggest priority is and they will say “the children”. Ask them if NAMBLA should be outlawed and they will say “No”.

Ask a Liberal if Bill O’Reilly is biased and they say, “Yes”. Ask them if Dan Rather is and they say “No”.

Ask a Liberal if the possible firing of Ward Churchill is censorship and they say “Yes”. Ask them if’s urging the FCC to squelch Fox News is and they say “No”.

Ask a Liberal if Osama Bin Laden is scary and they will say “No”. Ask them if Dick Chaney scares them and they will say, “Yes”.

Ask a Liberal if the degradation of women by men is bad and they say, “Yes”.Ask them if Rap music is bad and they say “No.”

Ask a Liberal if they protested the Iraq War and they say “Yes”. Ask them if they protested the bombing of “Bosnia” and they say “what”?

Ask a Liberal if they celebrate diversity and they say, “YES”! Ask them how many Conservative friends they have and they will say, “I wouldn’t be friends with a Conservative”.
posted by Jessica at 6:44 PM | Permalink |
Shh, Joe! Let 'em keep digging.
Democratic Party continues to shift left (Joe Scarborough)

The Democratic base is moving their party further left.
May the ghosts of Roosevelt and Kennedy arise from their graves to save the tattered remnants of their party. Because apparently, there does not exist a Democrat with a beating heart smart enough to save the party.
posted by Jessica at 6:42 PM | Permalink |
It's not much better over here.
Britain's moral wasteland

Daily Mail, 21 February 2005
The full extent of the disaster caused by the government’s teenage pregnancy strategy is only now becoming apparent. Figures released under the Freedom of Information Act have revealed that more than 1000 girls aged 14 had abortions last year.
In addition, 148 abortions were performed on girls aged between 11 and 13. About 3,500 girls aged under 16 have pregnancies terminated every year. And among the youngest age group, the number of abortions jumped last year by nine per cent.
Small wonder that until a week ago the Government was refusing to disclose these statistics on the spurious grounds that they were so small that disclosure risked identifying individual cases. Now we can see the real reason — that these horrifying figures expose the utter bankruptcy of government policy.
posted by Jessica at 6:38 PM | Permalink |
Well Bill Maher can kiss my ass.
'Bless me, Father, for I have a neurological disorder'

Every time I start to sort of like Bill Maher again, he says something so completely silly that I'm deprived of the ability to pay attention to him for at least another year.
Maher recently told MSNBC's Joe Scarborough, "When you look at beliefs in such things as, do you go to heaven, is there a devil, we [Americans] have more in common with Turkey and Iran and Syria than we do with European nations and Canada and nations that, yes, I would consider more enlightened than us." Maher also expressed his belief that Christians suffer a neurological disorder, a disorder that is apparently accompanied by an uncontrollable urge to change the channel whenever a pasty political picador makes unfounded blanket statements.
posted by Jessica at 6:35 PM | Permalink |
Ghandi was more hawkish than Kennedy, but what the hell.
Hillary More Hawkish Than Kennedy

New York Sen. Hillary Clinton went out of her way yesterday to contradict leading Democratic Party Iraq War critic Sen. Ted Kennedy, who has urged the Bush administration to begin withdrawing troops from Iraq. Asked about the kind of pullout suggested by Kennedy and other top Democrats, Clinton told NBC's "Meet the Press": "I don't believe we should tie our hands or the hands of the new Iraqi government. ... I think it would be a mistake."
The likely 2008 presidential candidate warned: "We don't want to send a signal to the insurgents, to the terrorists, that we are going to be out of here at some, you know, date certain. I think that would be like a green light to go ahead and just bide your time. We want to send a message of solidarity."
posted by Jessica at 6:31 PM | Permalink |
Moral EquivalencyThe Religious Left Gets It Wrong

We oppose abortion because we respect the fact that all humans are made in the image of God. How can you be genuinely sympathetic to the poor and the downtrodden if you don’t respect their most fundamental right? I would go so far as to say that unless you’re consistently pro-life, you’re not going to be a reliable defender of the poor.
Why do you suppose that in this ministry we have been going into the prisons for the past three decades? Why do we help people dying of AIDS? Why do we—and so many other Christians—visit the most dangerous places in America? Because the people there are our brothers and sisters, created, like us, in the image of God.
Why help the poor if we don’t believe all lives are equal in God’s sight? If you support ending the life of a child because it will be born into poverty, how can you logically call yourself an advocate for the poor?
posted by Jessica at 6:29 PM | Permalink |
In case the mutant eel wasn't scary enough.
posted by Jessica at 6:24 PM | Permalink |
And now, for more pressing news:

Posted by HelloThe contents of Paris Hilton's cell phone:
posted by Jessica at 6:20 PM | Permalink |
This is the kind of thing that keeps me awake at night.
Giant eel attacks Aussie trout farm

SYDNEY - An Australian trout farm has announced a 1,000 dollar reward for the capture of a giant eel baptised "Nessie's offspring" that has suddenly appeared in breeding ponds and begun eating up the fish.

Best quote: "Maybe it's Nessie, Nessie's offspring maybe, who knows, but no, it's a big eel,"
posted by Jessica at 6:13 PM | Permalink |
I've often called Clinton the greatest U.S. president. Of course, I added a word or two like "greatest pathologically lying U.S. president."
Reagan, Clinton “Greatest” U.S. Presidents

Americans rank a Republican as their best head of government, according to a poll by Gallup released by CNN and USA Today.
Polling Data
Whom do you regard as the greatest United States president?

Ronald Reagan

Bill Clinton

Abraham Lincoln

Franklin D. Roosevelt

John F. Kennedy

George W. Bush

George Washington

Jimmy Carter
posted by Jessica at 6:05 PM | Permalink |
Thursday, February 17
This is just ridiculous.
Some Harvard Faculty Pressure Summers to Quit

Let me get this straight. Ward Churchill can call the 9/11 victims Nazis and that's called "freedom of speech." Lawrence Summers insinuates that men and women may be *gasp* biologically different, and he's facing a lynch mob. Higher education indeed.
posted by Jessica at 7:08 AM | Permalink |
Wednesday, February 16
Geez, I think they're stupid cars too, but come on.
NYC Sued by Protester Arrested While Dressed as Hummer

NEW YORK (Reuters) - A woman who was arrested while dressed as a gas guzzling Hummer sued New York City on Tuesday for putting the brakes on her one-person protest in front of an SUV dealership during the Republican National Convention.
Georgianna Page, who spent eight hours creating her large cardboard box costume, charged the city violated her civil rights when she was arrested and detained for several hours on Aug. 31. No charges were ever filed against her, the suit said.
The complaint, filed in Manhattan federal court by the New York Civil Liberties Union, seeks unspecified damages.
According to the suit, Page heard there would be a peaceful protest in front of the Manhattan Hummer dealership that day and she arrived wearing her "Hummer" costume and a hand-lettered sign that read "Vampire Utility Vehicles: This is Your War."
Police arrested her for obstructing traffic, but Page said she had never left the sidewalk and did nothing wrong.
Page was arrested on a day that the police picked up 1,100 other people, most of whom have since had their cases dismissed, the NYCLU said.
A spokeswoman for the city's legal department said it had not received the suit and could not comment.
posted by Jessica at 11:46 AM | Permalink |
Tuesday, February 15
Oh Howard, how you crack me up.
Dean Promises to 'Take This Country Back.'

Promising to “take this country back for the people who built it,” Howard Dean took control of the Democratic Party Saturday, immediately drawing mixed reactions from the moderate and more liberal wings of the party.
“Today will be the beginning of the re-emergence of the Democratic Party,” said Dean, who was uncontested for the job after former Rep. Tim Roemer (D-Ind.), Rep. Martin Frost (D-Texas), party activist Donnie Fowler, former Ohio party Chairman David Leland, former Denver Mayor Wellington Webb and New Democratic Network President Simon Rosenberg dropped out of the race. Dean replaces Terry McCauliffe, whose four-year term ended last week.
The former governor of Vermont, Dean became a national figure when he joined the race for the presidency. Early on in the primary season, Dean became the leading candidate for the Democratic nomination but withdrew after critics lambasted him for what’s been deemed the “Dean Scream.” The media played repeatedly a video of an impassioned Dean at the Iowa caucuses, his sleeves rolled up and collar unbuttoned, pumping his fist in air and letting out an amplified yowl.
It wasn’t his first misstep. Earlier in the race,
Dean had been blasted by fellow Democrat Al Sharpton for saying he wanted to attract the rebel-flag-waving segment of society to his party, and by other Democrats for dissing the centrist politics of Bill Clinton.
But despite Dean’s somewhat embarrassing exit from the presidential race, many believe he is the right man to lead the Democratic National Committee, while others say Dean is too liberal and abrasive, and question whether he has what it takes to lead and unify the party.
Still other Democrats argue that the only issue now is how to combat an ideologically driven Republican Party that now controls the House of Representatives, the Senate and the White House.
“This administration … believe[s] there should be no roof of opportunities for the rich and powerful, no safety net or floor for the poor,” said the Rev. Jesse Jackson. “So we do call on our new DNC Chairman to move our party to the center – the moral center. We call on Howard Dean to do what he does best – to tell the truth, to stand up and fight for the defenseless and the weak, to point out the corrupt and biased priorities by which this administration, this Congress, and this GOP are pushing. On the crises of our times, Howard Dean will fight for a Democratic Party that’s occupies the moral center.”
Stephen Minarik, chairman of the State Republican Party disagrees.
Speaking to The Buffalo News recently, Minarik said
, "Howard Dean is the personification of today's national Democratic Party - elite, radical, out of control and sadly out of touch with ordinary Americans."
Carrie Gordon Earll of Focus on the Family, a conservative organization, told Cybercast News Service: "Dean can be a wild card. If you go by his track record, he does tend to pull to the left, but not on everything. He may remake himself to be more moderate, but I don't believe that's who he really is."

So let me get this straight. We should have a "roof" for the rich and powerful now? Okay, sorry Bill Gates, time to give back the billions. Screw the thousands of people working for you. Let's punish people for succeeding now. And what the hell is "the moral center" anyway? I am left with no other conclusion than Jesse Jackson, like many Jacksons these days, is clininically insane.
posted by Jessica at 4:17 PM | Permalink |
Amen, brother.
KID ROCK has attacked celebrities who offer their opinions on the war in Iraq, because he doesn't think stars are intelligent enough to publicly criticise the US President.
The Republican rap-rock star admits he's the last person who should comment on political matters and, though he doesn't always agree with President GEORGE W BUSH, he does support the commander-in-chief and troops fighting for Iraq's freedom.
In a new interview with PLAYBOY magazine, Kid Rock - real name BOB RITCHIE - attacks stars like DIXIE CHICK NATALIE MAINES and feminist comic-turned-anti-Bush radio host JANEANE GAROFALO for thinking they know better than the President.
He rages, "I'm not educated enough to speak about it (the war), and I don't think any of these other motherf**kers are, either.
"I'm pretty sure Janeane Garofalo's and that chick from the Dixie Chicks' educations don't stretch that far.
"Look up CONDI RICE or GEORGE BUSH's education, where they went to school. They've been doing this s**t their whole f**king lives, while we've been out d**king around with guitars, entertaining people.
"F**kers in Hollywood who want to use the camera to be like, 'Guess who I'm f**king now?' and 'Oh, stop the war!' - all that s**t just makes me sick."
posted by Jessica at 12:57 PM | Permalink |
Quote of the day:
"Teach the young people how to think, not what to think"
-Sidney Sugarman
posted by Jessica at 12:43 PM | Permalink |
Curtis Adams, a long-time Democrat commissioner in Tennessee switches parties

While they fight it out, a long-time Democratic commissioner in Hamilton County, Tennessee announced Monday that he's switching parties. A release from the State Republican Party pegged Curtis Adams' move to Dean, but a spokesman for the state party tells us that "local party officials have left the option open for Commissioner Adams to join the Republican Party for some time, and I think he has been watching the direction that his party has been taking and decided that now was the right time."
Said Adams yesterday: "For almost 18 years in office as a Democrat I believed in what they were — not what it is today. The Republican Party is a party of conviction, a party of change. Their values, goals and beliefs are mine."
Whether there's more in that pot o' gold remains to be seen.
posted by Jessica at 12:41 PM | Permalink |
Slavery was a choice too.
Women unite against right-to-lifers,5478,12230971^2862,00.html

"It's part of an international movement to put women back in the box," she said.

No, now see, if it were men who were having the abortions, still would think it was murder. Get over yourself. Having breasts does not give you a license to kill.

Dr Sally Cockburn, who tonight will debate Right to Life Australia president Margaret Tighe on 3AW, said: "I'm sick and tired of semantics and rhetoric. Get out of my consulting room and my patient's uterus."

So when Jill shoots her three-year old daughter in the head, we should say, "get out of her living room. It came from her uterus!" Yeah, well, that's how ridiculous you sound to us.

Women's Electoral Lobby spokeswoman Linda Hancock said: "Women from all manner of political, cultural and religious persuasions should be united on this front."

Except that it's predominantly secular, middle-class white women who are "united" on the subject.

Socialite Lillian Frank said: "There are so many circumstances where a woman has to have an abortion. We should not force women to have babies."

No, we should not force women to have sex. I'm all on-board with that.

Fertility Control Clinic psychologist Dr Susie Allanson said: "If we don't have access to abortions we go back to the bad old days of backyard abortions."

You mean when the abortion rate was like 400 % lower than it is now? Yeah.
posted by Jessica at 9:39 AM | Permalink |
Why Howard Dean will NOT be taking Utah anytime soon.

Posted by HelloFIRST-PERSON: Who's afraid of the fetus?

"When I had the sonogram and heard the heartbeat -- and for me a heartbeat symbolizes life -- after that there was no way I could do it," Brown recalled. Once she had seen the image of her unborn baby, abortion was no longer an option.

According to the Heidi Group, a Christian organization that advises crisis pregnancy centers, up to 90 percent of women visiting the clinics who see their babies through the use of ultrasound technology change their minds and no longer seek an abortion.Make no mistake -- pro-abortion advocates understand what this new development represents. Susanne Martinez, vice president of public policy at the Planned Parenthood Federation of America, told The New York Times that the use of such images by pregnancy centers "is coercive."In an amazingly candid statement, Martinez put the issue in perspective. "From the time they walk into these centers, they are inundated with information that is propaganda and that has one goal in mind. And that is to have women continue with their pregnancies."Got it? Martinez clearly believes that something dreadful has happened when women are persuaded to continue with their pregnancies and not to seek abortions. Of course, all that makes sense when the Planned Parenthood Federation of America comes into closer view, and its real agenda is made clear.

The national media has been watching the development of these crisis pregnancy centers and the impact of ultrasound technology for some time. Writing for the Newhouse News Service, reporter Mark O'Keefe traced the experience of Rebekah Nancarrow, a 23-year-old woman who visited a faith-based pregnancy center in Dallas, Texas. According to O'Keefe's report, Nancarrow went into the clinic "95 percent certain I was going to have an abortion." Nevertheless, once Nancarrow saw her baby through an ultrasound technology, everything was changed. "She was moving, she was kicking, she had legs." Nancarrow made a promise to her baby on the spot: "I will take care of you."

O'Keefe reported that "abortion rights groups oppose the practice, arguing that ultrasound becomes a manipulative weapon when put in the hands of religious activists trying to persuade pregnant, vulnerable women." Planned Parenthood's Suzanne Martinez, also cited in O'Keefe's article, charged that the use of ultrasound technology by pregnancy centers "isn't a matter of providing more knowledge, but an attempt to manipulate women." In other words, the abortion industry doesn't want pregnant women to see inside their own wombs -- and thus recognize the humanity of their unborn children.

When all else fails, the Feminist Women's Health Center shifts to scare tactics. "If you discover you are seeking help from an anti-abortion facility, protect yourself from further harassment. Leave the premises immediately and do not return. When you do locate a professional clinic that offers information about all options, be sure to share your ... experience with your new counselor so that whatever distortions and misinformation you may have received can be corrected." There you have it. The abortion rights movement finally has met its match. The abortion industry is scared to death of the fetus, knowing that the mere image of a living baby in the womb is the refutation of every argument they can assert and all the coercion they would employ.
posted by Jessica at 9:29 AM | Permalink |
The Twinkie guy was more convincing.
Jurors in Boy's Murder Trial Consider if Zoloft Is to Blame

CHARLESTON, S.C., Feb. 14 - A teenager on trial for killing his grandparents when he was 12 and taking the antidepressant Zoloft can be found not guilty of murder if he was "involuntarily intoxicated" by the drug, a judge told jurors after closing arguments Monday, offering them an option to acquit him without finding him insane.

The teenager, Christopher Pittman, now 15, confessed to the killings, but his lawyers have argued that Zoloft made him manic and violent. After shooting his grandparents, Joe and Joy Pittman, in their bed, he set fire to the house and fled in their car, then claimed to have been kidnapped. Prosecutors say the boy's actions prove that he was aware that what he had done was wrong.

He later said of his grandparents, who had taken him in when he was having trouble at home, "I'm not sorry. They deserved it," according to his confession to investigators presented during the two-week trial.

He got in trouble for trying to choke a second grader on the school bus, and prosecutors argue that when his grandfather disciplined him, he became angry. That night, he killed the Pittmans with a shotgun that had been a gift from his father.

Um...yeah. It was the Zoloft. Riiiiiigggghhht.
posted by Jessica at 9:09 AM | Permalink |
The prosecution won't even need to show up.
370, Mostly Celebrities, on Jackson Witness List

The defense's witness list contains well-known people like Kobe Bryant, Quincy Jones, Larry King, Diana Ross, Elizabeth Taylor and Stevie Wonder. Also on the list are David Blaine, the magician; Deepak Chopra, the motivational speaker and writer; Steve Harvey, the comedian and actor; Nick Carter of the Backstreet Boys singing group; Maury Povich, the talk show host; and Steve Wynn, the Las Vegas casino owner.

Unlike O.J. and Scotty Peterson, I am not ready to assume that Michael Jackson is guilty. Anyone else facing the same charges, yes, I'd probably vote to convict. But Jackson might not be a child molestor. He might merely be stark-raving insane. A dubious, but worthy distinction. In any case, he deserves to be innocent until proven guilty, which will be any day now as Jackson has apparently assembled a defense team as stark-raving mad as himself. After all, who better to appeal to the jury than the following:

Kobe Bryant, who is at worst a rapist, at best an adulterer who chose to cheat with a complete nutcase.
David Blaine, who chose to spend 44 days starving himself in a see-through box over the River Thames.
Diana Ross, whose altercations with the police include groping an airport security guard and drunk driving.
Nick Carter, who, when hauled in for resisting arrest, started crying and said "You just want to arrest a Backstreet Boy."
Larry King, who, in addition to being Larry King, was arrested in 1971 and charged with grand larceny.
And Stevie Wonder, who is blind.

Yup, that's a crack team the defense has rounded up. The only people who are missing as character witnesses are Charles Manson, Teddy Kennedy, and Ron Jeremy.
posted by Jessica at 8:43 AM | Permalink |
The times they are a'changin'.
Blogs sound death knell

Fortunately, the bloggers have once again pulled the curtain back to reveal that the feeble old man controlling the make-believe world of "unbiased" media is a fraud, and a dangerous one at that. The fraud in this particular case being Mr. Jordan. Least anyone forget, this is the same CNN news executive who in April 2003 admitted that he willingly withheld information about the abuses of Saddam Hussein. Mr. Jordan said that Uday Hussein, the crazed and murderous son of Saddam, had personally told him of his plans to kill his two brothers-in-law. The two men were eventually assassinated, and Mr. Jordan, the confidant of Uday, was proven correct. With his very words, Mr. Jordan indicts himself as someone who aided and abetted the Adolph Hitler of our time. Mr. Jordan may be many things, but journalist is certainly not one of them. The "eye" of CBS News, and the rest of the liberal mainstream press, has just been replaced by a much more powerful eye. It is the eye of the American people. Through thousands of blogs, they check, analyze and expose the misdeeds of the mainstream press. And through this eye, we have all just witnessed the passing of the credibility of the left-leaning mainstream press. Let the new era of journalism begin.
posted by Jessica at 8:39 AM | Permalink |
Oh, WE'RE racist.
"The Gift of Howard Dean"

Democrats have lifted to leadership a man who recently said he “hates Republicans.” This at least separates him from the rest of the Left, which hates America and prefers it be reconstructed in a more … well … Soviet image. No, Howard Dean just hates Republicans, a stance that by necessity must include those on the Right who were discontented enough with President Bush to initially support Dean for president. Well, maybe not those Republicans, but … oh, skip it.

Secondarily, Dean cannot help being the gift that keeps on giving, by simple virtue of his being himself, a contention artfully confirmed in
Saturday’s Washington Post: “Incoming Democratic National Committee chairman Howard Dean spent [last Friday, 11 February] in a series of meetings with valued Democratic constituencies at the Hilton Washington …. He surveys the crowd [at the 5pm meeting with black constituents] of 150 crammed into the room. ‘You think the RNC could get thus many people of color into a single room?’ he marvels. ‘Maybe if they get the hotel staff in there.’”

You know, they can keep on acting like the Bush administration is lilly white, but anyone not suffering from acute glaucoma can see the truth for themselves. And when Dean's failed 2008 bid ends with Dr. Rice kicking his lilly-white ass back into irrelevancy, I'm sure he can still find work as hotel staff.
posted by Jessica at 8:33 AM | Permalink |
Yeah, and we're gonna sweep Mass. in '08.
Dean says the re-election of Congressman Jim Matheson and County Mayor Peter Corroon are both proof the Democrats have a chance to win big in Utah.
posted by Jessica at 8:29 AM | Permalink |
Sometimes it helps to have it spelled out.
'Call It Eurabia Now'

If you’re an American Christian, the Jihadists hate you. If you’re an American Jew, the Jihadists want you dead. If you’re an American woman, the Jihadists want you covered from head to foot in a burka. In brief, if you are not a Muslim, you have no rights except those permitted to a dhimmi, an unbeliever under the control of Islam.

Aiding them in every way is France and the European Union whose hatred for Israel is as strong as its Muslim allies. So, while the air is filled with talk of "peace" or a "truce" between the so-called Palestinians and the Israelis, do not be deceived.

Welcome home, Madame Secretary. France will betray you. Germany will do little to support the war on terrorism. Just as they did with the millions the European Union sent them each month, the Palestinians will take the forty million U.S. dollars we have given them and buy more weapons for the day when they can drive the Jews into the sea. The Iranians will continue to build their nuclear bombs. The Saudis will conspire against us. No diplomacy on earth will diminish the Jihad. Only our will to defeat it will save us from dhimmitude.
posted by Jessica at 8:26 AM | Permalink |
Monday, February 14
Just when I thought I had nothing in common with Hindu nationalists...
Fiery Protests Against Valentine's Day

NEW DELHI, India (AP) Nearly 50 Hindu hardliners burned Valentine’s Day cards and posters in the Indian capital on Monday, protesting the international day of love that they say imposes Western values on India’s youth.
posted by Jessica at 6:09 PM | Permalink |
Happy Valentine's Day

Posted by Hello

Kindergarten pupils reflect on Valentine's Day

How do you let your dad know you love him?
"I help him. I kill flies in his house."

What ingredients is love made out of?

Why did your mom marry your dad?
"That I don't know."
posted by Jessica at 6:05 PM | Permalink |
Some thoughts on the Eason Jordan debacle
Both sides now:

Eason Jordan affair: when bloggers appear as the sons of Senator McCarthy


Let's look at it this way: Say 'ol Brit Hume over at Fox News was speaking at a dinner party. During this dinner, he gets up and says "Why do those damn homosexuals keep lighting buildings on fire?" You think any liberals would call for him to resign? Yeah, me too. Same difference.
posted by Jessica at 3:12 PM | Permalink |
Interesting piece on McCarthyism.
We Now Know
Some myths die hard. One of the most recalcitrant in recent times has been the myth of McCarthyism—the myth that America in the late 1940s and early 1950s was in the grip of a fearsome, paranoid “witch-hunt” against supposed Communists and other alleged traitors. According to this myth, the assault was fearsome because it blighted thousands of careers and lives, and it was paranoid because it was essentially groundless. Senator Joseph McCarthy and the House Un-American Activities Committee ranted on about Communist spies, but really, the myth of McCarthyism maintains, there were no spies to speak of, only liberals like … well, like Alger Hiss.
posted by Jessica at 3:10 PM | Permalink |
More reasons to hate Valentine's Day:
Supporters to thank Senator Barbara Boxer with 2,400 roses

WASHINGTON Senator Barbara Boxer will receive perhaps the splashiest Valentine's Day gift on Capitol Hill today.Some 24-hundred roses will be delivered to her office from supporters who contributed to the "Barbara Boxer Rose Campaign."
The idea came from Stacy Davies, a writer from Claremont, California who cheered while watching Boxer challenge Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice during last month's confirmation hearings over the Bush administration's rationale for invading Iraq.
Davies contacted a national online florist which set up a special phone line for the campaign. Then she sent e-mail appeals to several progressive Internet blogs, and got a pitch on Air America, the liberal talk-radio network.
Boxer says she was "very touched." Her office has arranged to transfer the flowers tonight to Bethesda Naval Hospital in Maryland and Walter Reed Army Medical Center in Washington, which treats soldiers wounded in Iraq.

Ten bucks says the soldiers tell her to shove the roses up her commie ass.
posted by Jessica at 3:07 PM | Permalink |
Even yo momma ain't buyin' it.
Dean Vows to Reach Evangelicals as Democratic Leader

Posted by Hello

As governor of Vermont, Dean promoted homosexual civil unions. His presidential campaign stumbled over clumsy attempts to display biblical literacy and religious values. At one point the governor was quoted as declaring that the Book of Job is his favorite New Testament book.
The eventual Democratic nominee for President, John Kerry, professed himself uneasy about talking of his Catholic faith, and his pro-abortion-rights views generated a lot of criticism from his church leaders.

Dean told the women not to say that the Democrats are pro-abortion. "We are not pro-abortion!" was his lead off sentence. "There is not anyone I know who is pro-abortion." The former governor attacked the Bush administration for there being more abortions per capita than there were under President Bill Clinton. Dean embraced Clinton's goal to make abortion rare while allowing women the right to choose. The incoming leader of the Democrats also recalled how an evangelical supporter from Texas had told him that her compassion encompassed more issues than just abortion.

Dean mocked the Republicans as family values hypocrites. "The GOP wants to cut the money for feeding kids. They only get two of the values of the New Testament. Do they talk about having walked among the least of these?"
Comparing the Republicans to Sadducees and Pharisees, Dean said, "I haven't heard the Republicans talk about that it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than a rich man through the gates of heaven."

Dean declared that though the Democrats have tried to follow maybe 25 of the 27 main values of the New Testament, they have been poor at communicating this story. Invoking God, Dean declared, "Lord, family values—how could we possibly lose! We are the party of family values!"

A few delegates that CT interviewed articulated a Christian approach to politics. Charles Saechting, chairman of the Texas Democrats, regaled his audience with declarations that the Republicans "are probably the least Christian party that has ever been." He talked of his own upbringing by an African American who became a pastor, but also unconvincingly argued that "pro-life falls within the pro-choice belief."

Okay, Deaniacs, here are the major problems with your new little revival:
1. Conservatives aren't against women, or anyone else making "choices." We are against sucking unborn children into vaccums. Because you place no value on innocent human life, all of your statements about "family values" are in essence, a hypocritic pile of horsesh*t to us. No matter how many scriptures you quote, we will not suddenly decide that a 14-year old girl can have an eight month old "fetus" murdered without telling her mommy and daddy. Give it up.
2. Here's a tip on courting religious voters: calling us Pharisees, when that is precisely what YOU are, is not going to win you any votes. It just makes you look stupid. And desperate. Which apparently you are.
3.Anyone who spends time counting the number of "values" in the New Testament is obviously missing the entire message of said Testament.
4. Camel, needle eye, yeah, we've heard it. He said it's harder, not impossible. He also said suffer the little children, but I don't think he meant by cracking their skulls open in the womb and sucking them into a trash bag.
5. "We are the party of family values!" Hahahahahahah. I have nothing to add. As long as you believe that, you will join Terry McAuliffe's grand losing record. You just might beat it. Yeaaaaahhhh indeed.

Matt 7:15-20:
15"Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravenous wolves. 16You will know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes from thornbushes or figs from thistles? 17Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. 18A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. 19Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20Therefore by their fruits you will know them.
posted by Jessica at 2:46 PM | Permalink |
Kudos, guys. Another brilliant scheme.
Democrats Seek to Outmaneuver Republicans by Imitating Their Strategy


Privately, Democratic interest groups have discussed the creation of a liberal equivalent to the Club for Growth that would campaign against defecting Democrats. The online liberal behemoth is already targeting ads at the one House Democrat — Florida's Allen Boyd — backing Bush on Social Security.Any Democrats who support Bush's Social Security proposals will "face real consequences from the base of the party," warns Robert Borosage, co-director of the liberal Campaign for America's Future.

Just what we need, a liberal Mafia.

Plenty of Democrats still worry that this drive for greater unity and ideological consistency, if it becomes a lurch left, could hurt the party by repelling voters in red states whom the next nominee will need to win the White House. For now, these doubters are reassuring each other that a presidential candidate determined to court the center (paging Sen. Hillary Clinton!) can redirect the party in 2008.

I think the very fact that they consider Hillary Clinton a centrist will assure another spectacular defeat.
posted by Jessica at 2:34 PM | Permalink |
More diseases I won't worry about catching until I start my crystal meth addiction:
2 new patients may hold clues to potent HIV

The two male contacts in New York, only one of whom is cooperating with the investigation, are among hundreds of men with whom the New York man told health officials he has had sex in recent weeks while using crystal methamphetamine. The man who sparked the investigation is cooperating with city health officials but apparently does not know the names of all his partners. (Then what was that rolodex for, hmmm?)
posted by Jessica at 2:28 PM | Permalink |
John "I'm still heeeere!!!" Edwards alert
posted by Jessica at 2:26 PM | Permalink |
Naysaying editorial of the day:
Iraq winners more than U.S. bargained for

Many in newly elected government are closely allied with Iran
posted by Jessica at 2:24 PM | Permalink |
Even when they're the majority, they're still losers.
Attention Young Liberals

College campuses are widely viewed as liberal bastions, with towns such as Berkeley, Cambridge and Madison used as shorthand for left-wing communities of faculty and students.
So why is a Washington think tank funneling money to universities to encourage liberal journalism? Isn't that a bit like pumping sand into the Mojave Desert?
"We're not winning the battle of ideas on campus," says David Halperin, who is running the project for the Center for American Progress. Conservatives "have this insurgency mentality, even though they run the world."
"We're being outhustled," says Halperin's colleague Ben Hubbard. "We want to cultivate the media stars, much like the right has done with Ann Coulter and Dinesh D'Souza."
Toward that end, the center will give $750,000 to nine liberal campus publications at such places as Princeton, Dartmouth and the University of Wisconsin, and help launch four at the universities of Michigan, Chicago, Kentucky and Ohio State. This is dwarfed by the more than $30 million a year that they estimate conservative campus organizations receive from such groups as the Young America's Foundation and Leadership Institute.
Leah Caldwell, editor of Issue at the University of Texas, says she and two friends broke away from the school's daily paper because they felt that racial issues were being "sanitized" and more national coverage was needed. She says the center's $3,000 grant will put the magazine on a regular monthly schedule rather than struggling to raise money for each edition.
The project, being launched this week, includes a Web site,, that will act as a clearinghouse for student journalism, along with contributions and interviews from the likes of Larry David, Al Franken and Margaret Cho. And the site will offer policy guidance. "We'll call them crib sheets, but they're talking points," says Halperin, a former Clinton White House speechwriter.
Also underway is a speakers' bureau (such as Al Sharpton and Armstrong Williams discussing the black vote this week at Howard University) and a training program, putting young journalists in touch with staffers for the Nation, Mother Jones, Washington Monthly and American Prospect.
The venture plans full-page newspaper ads that are anything but subtle. Featuring pictures and quotes from Coulter, Bill O'Reilly and James Dobson, the ads say: "Conservatives in Washington are attacking our personal freedoms. Young Americans fight and die in a war built on their deceptions. . . . Don't Just Sit Around. Connect. Engage. Speak Up."
posted by Jessica at 2:23 PM | Permalink |