Saturday, July 29

Once inside the car, a source directly connected with the case says Gibson began banging himself against the seat. The report says Gibson told the deputy, "You mother f****r. I'm going to f*** you." The report also says "Gibson almost continually [sic] threatened me saying he 'owns Malibu' and will spend all of his money to 'get even' with me."

The report says Gibson then launched into a barrage of anti-Semitic statements: "F*****g Jews... The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world." Gibson then asked the deputy, "Are you a Jew?"

The deputy became alarmed as Gibson's tirade escalated, and called ahead for a sergeant to meet them when they arrived at the station. When they arrived, a sergeant began videotaping Gibson, who noticed the camera and then said, "What the f*** do you think you're doing?"

A law enforcement source says Gibson then noticed another female sergeant and yelled, "What do you think you're looking at, sugar tits?"

We're told Gibson took two blood alcohol tests, which were videotaped, and continued saying how "f****d" he was and how he was going to "f***" Deputy Mee.

posted by Jessica at 11:38 PM | Permalink |

There's really nothing not funny about this.
posted by Jessica at 11:33 PM | Permalink |
"I am very sad it came to this point where we had to buy a permanent home...I thought President Bush would have resigned by now. But I am happy about a permanent home in Crawford."
-Cindy Sheehan

Heh. Her box of anvils from the Acme factory arrives next week.
posted by Jessica at 11:18 PM | Permalink |
Tuesday, July 11
MSM Death Watch...

FINAL Weekday Competitive Program Ranker

June 2006: 5/27/2006 - 6/23/2006

Ranked On:

HH HH P2+ A25-54


FOXN THE OREILLY FACTOR MTWTF.. 06:00A -11:00P 1.8 1,643 2,141 402

FOXN HANNITY & COLMES MTWTF.. 06:00A -11:00P 1.3 1,180 1,490 321

FOXN ON THE RECORD W/GRETA MTWTF.. 06:00A -11:00P 1.1 1,008 1,241 289

FOXN THE FOX REPORT W/S.SMITH MTWTF.. 06:00A -11:00P 1.1 957 1,181 274

FOXN SPECIAL REPORTW/BRIT HUME MTWTF.. 06:00A -11:00P 1.1 951 1,178 251

CNN LARRY KING LIVE MTWTF.. 06:00A -11:00P 1.0 901 1,059 236

FOXN THE OREILLY FACTOR (RPT) MTWTF.. 11:00P -12:00A 0.9 757 942 282

FOXN THE BIG STORY W/J GIBSON MTWTF.. 06:00A -11:00P 0.8 741 891 193

FOXN STUDIO B W/S.SMITH MTWTF.. 06:00A -11:00P 0.9 767 890 216

FOXN FOX AND FRIENDS MTWTF.. 06:00A -11:00P 0.9 781 878 315

FOXN YOUR WORLD W/NEIL CAVUTO MTWTF.. 06:00A -11:00P 0.8 702 816 200

FOXN FOX NEWS LIVE MTWTF.. 06:00A -11:00P 0.8 713 814 222

CNN LOU DOBBS TONIGHT MTWTF.. 06:00A -11:00P 0.7 641 732 176

FOXN DAYSIDE MTWTF.. 06:00A -11:00P 0.7 630 709 209

CNN ANDERSON COOPER 360 MTWTF.. 10:00P -12:00A 0.6 540 630 224

CNN PAULA ZAHN NOW MTWTF.. 06:00A -11:00P 0.6 520 606 167

FOXN FOX & FRIENDS FIRST MTWTF.. 06:00A -11:00P 0.6 492 519 206

CNN SITUATION ROOM MTWTF.. 06:00A -11:00P 0.5 457 516 144

CNN AMERICAN MORNING MTWTF.. 06:00A -11:00P 0.4 372 411 176

CNN CNN LIVE MTWTF.. 06:00A -11:00P 0.4 368 408 144

CNN LIVE FROM ... MTWTF.. 06:00A -11:00P 0.4 352 388 110

MSNB MSNBC INVESTIGATES ....F.. 06:00A -11:00P 0.4 321 371 172

CNN CNNI YOUR WORLD TODAY MTWTF.. 06:00A -11:00P 0.3 313 336 106

MSNB SCARBOROUGH COUNTRY MTWT... 06:00A -11:00P 0.3 270 316 104

MSNB HARDBALL WITH C. MATTHEWS MTWTF.. 06:00A -11:00P 0.3 260 299 100

MSNB IMUS IN THE MORNING MTWTF.. 06:00A -11:00P 0.3 270 291 117

MSNB COUNTDOWN W/ K. OLBERMANN MTWTF.. 06:00A -11:00P 0.3 243 286 106

MSNB RITA COSBY LIVE & DIRECT MTWT... 06:00A -11:00P 0.2 197 233 93

MSNB THE ABRAMS REPORT MTWTF.. 06:00A -11:00P 0.2 190 213 77

MSNB THE SITUATION W/T CARLSON MTWT... 11:00P -12:00A 0.2 190 210 90

Source: Nielsen Media Research, all regularly scheduled programs airing M-F 6am-12am excluding breaking news & specials.

posted by Jessica at 5:27 PM | Permalink |
Friday, July 7
State of the union.
I just realized that like the last 8 out of 10 posts I made have to do with Tom Cruise. This makes me sad. Unlike this time last year, when 8 out of 10 posts had to do with Clooney. Of course, Tom amuses the crap out of me while George fills me with the seething desire to pimpslap him, but I digress... I know I need to move on. There's so much else going on in the world. Kim Jong-Il is being even more nutters than usual. Al Gore is contesting the Mexican Presidential election after losing that one too. Paris Hilton released a second version of her hit new music video. Katharine McPhee is rapidly becoming the Norma Desmond of American Idol. And Lindsey Lohan has mysterious new boobs! I shall turn my attentions to all this and more...
posted by Jessica at 10:27 AM | Permalink |
US Weekly is all "WTF, Tomkat? Show da kitten, yo!"

Three months after her birth, Baby Suri, is still unseen, even by the family’s closest friends. A source says Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have yet to show her off to fellow Scientologists John Travolta, Kelly Preston and Lisa Marie Presley. Even good pals Will and Jada Pinkett Smith supposedly have not met her, despite repeated calls to Cruise. “Every time, it’s a different excuse: He’s busy or Kate’s not feeling well,” says a source. ‘[The Smiths] think it’s so weird.”

Soon after the baby was born, photo agency WireImage approached multiple outlets (including Us) with the news that it would be offering pictures of Suri for auction. Days later, on May 11, before official bidding was even underway, the agency sent out an e-mail declaring that “the baby shoot is on hold for now. There is no additional info as to when this may happen or if it will even happen at all.”
I think it's pretty clear what's happened. The baby, if there ever *was* such a thing, has been sent off for early indoctrination by her Uncle Xenu up on Space Mountain. Tom is busily devising a new voodoo ceremony to sic hundreds of nasty thetans onto Branjelina. And if no one comes up with the $4 million blood money for the baby photos, he will launch a series of no-dong missiles into Long Beach harbor. Katie is, of course, still chained up in the basement frantically trying to text SOS messages to James Van Der Beek with her nose. I mean, duh. I don't see why this warrants an entire cover story. Wasn't there enough intel on the fake Jenvaughnistan engagement? And do you think while any of these reporters were spending a hundred grand getting their journalism degrees they ever thought their lives would revolve around baby bump-spotting and programming celebrity couple nicknames into their spell checks? I know I didn't. Kidding. My degree's in English. And I'm not getting paid, which is infinitely sadder. But I know it, and I think that's the most important part.
posted by Jessica at 9:56 AM | Permalink |
$20 bucks and a baby chincilla says they're pro-choice...
Beyoncé Ambushed by PETA at Nobu

Beyoncé was confronted Thursday night at the swanky restaurant Nobu in New York City by two members of People For the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA). The two had won an eBay auction, benefiting VH1's Save the Music Foundation, to dine with the star. Beyoncé had no idea they were PETA members.

TMZ obtained video of the confrontation, shot by PETA, taped inside the restaurant. As they sat at the table, Beyoncé, who has a fashion line with her mother that uses fur, had no idea what was coming. After placing their orders, the PETA members confronted the singer.

The PETA members then pulled out a portable DVD player and began playing a tape of Pamela Anderson's attack on the fur industry, which highlights graphic footage of the process of killing animals for their fur.

Also present at the table -- Beyoncé's mother Tina and her sister Solange.

The PETA members were swiftly escorted out of the restaurant. Beyoncé and her relatives stayed inside.

Calls to Beyoncé's reps were not immediately returned.

I love that the only way liberals can get normal people to pay any attention to them whatsoever is by "ambushing" them. Apparently the last history lesson they stayed awake for was the French and Indian War. I didn't even know Beyonce had a clothing line, or that I needed special accent characters to type her name correctly. Or that PETA's new super secret plan to get their out message hinged on ebay. So today is chalk full 'o learnings.
posted by Jessica at 9:15 AM | Permalink |
Thursday, July 6
Quote of the Day:
"You CANNOT go into a 7-11 or a Dunkin Donuts without an Indian accent."
-Sen. Joe Biden (D-DE)

I'm giddily looking forward to the campaign ad his opponents will be running this fall based on the above quote. I've been on vacation, so I thought I'd ease back into blogging with a little liberal stupidity. Thanks, Joe.
posted by Jessica at 4:42 PM | Permalink |