Monday, January 31
Quotes of the Day
Topic of the Day:
"Action may not always bring happiness; but there is no happiness without action." Benjamin Disraeli

Verse of the Day
"And there was great joy in that city." Acts 8:8

Literary Quote of the Day:
"There will be little rubs and disappointments everywhere, and we are all apt to expect too much; but then, if one scheme of happiness fails, human nature turns to another; if the first calculation is wrong, we make a second better: we find comfort somewhere . . . " Jane Austen, Mansfield Park

posted by Jessica at 1:56 PM | Permalink |
Friday, January 28
And the hits just keep on coming

"Michael Moore Fails to Make Cut with Writers Guild
LOS ANGELES (Hollywood Reporter) - Two days after being snubbed when the Oscar nominations were announced, Michael Moore was left off the list Thursday when the Writers Guild of America unveiled nominees for its first documentary writing award for a feature film."

posted by Jessica at 1:49 PM | Permalink |
Quotes of the Day
Topic of the Day:
"As memory may be a paradise from which we cannot be driven, it may also be a hell from which we cannot escape." John Lancaster

Verse of the Day:
"For I will give you words and wisdom that none of your adversaries will be able to resist or contradict."
Luke 21:15

Literary Quote of the Day:
"Some memories are realities, and are better than anything that can ever happen to one again." Willa Cather, My Antonia

posted by Jessica at 11:13 AM | Permalink |
Thursday, January 27
Okay, really, it's time to shut up now.

Posted by Hello

Twenty years in the Senate and John Kerry has had more to say since losing the election than in all of them put together. Quite a few weeks John's had. If I got ahold of his to do list, it would probably look something like this
1. demoralize troops
2. join in boxer rebellion
3. give that condi rice a talking down like I can't do to Teresa
4. revive failed election talking points
5. recycle campaign speeches
6. inform the public of my new health care plan. just not the specifics. but I have one dammit. a plan. a plan!

Oh John. You're so irrelevant Ted Kennedy is starting to disassociate himself from you. Barking like a little yappy dog is not going to make a run in '08 any smoother. Take a tip from Hillary. She's already lying out her ass to look moderate. Wacko kook liberalism is so 2004 darling. Go back to doing something that you're really good at, like windsurfing, or pimping yourself to rich widows.

In a vote of thanks to Kerry for showing us exactly why we didn't elect him President, here's a flashback from the archives entitled:

"25 Reasons I'm Voting for John Kerry"

1.I think that No Child Left Behind is a gigantic failure and that Bush doesn't’t care about children at all, especially minority children. But I thought that Janet Reno was right on the money to send that Elian Gonzalez packing back to Cuba.
2.I feel that The Ten Commandments have no place in public school. Neither to Halloween parties, because they’re offensive to the Wiccan community.
3.I support freedom of worship for all religions, especially Islam. But we’ve gotta do something about those damn Christians.
4.I think that if we’d just signed the Kyoto Treaty all those nice European countries would’ve been happy to help us.
5.I have so much money that I will be consumed with guilt if I don’t pretend to care about the unwashed masses. I will not, however, actually give away any of my own money in the process.
6.Halliburton is the root of all evil.
7.Deep down, I really want Pakistan to beat the crap out of the Jews.
8.I support leaders who are adulterers, murderers, alcoholics, liars, thieves, and billionaires, because I feel they better understand “middle class values.”
9.I believe that Bush may have, despite all evidence to the contrary, served only 5 ½ of his 6 years in the National Guard makes him unfit to be Commander in Chief. The fact that John Kerry went to Vietnam for four months, shot himself in the arm, and then proceeded to meet with the enemy, calling his fellow officers rapists and murderers, however, makes him a fabulous choice.
10.Dick Cheney never served his country and is a spineless bastard for it. Neither did John Edwards, but shhhh, don’t tell.
11.Furthermore, the fact that Bill Clinton was a draft-dodging anti-war activist does not concern me whatsoever. He rules!
12.Bush liberating Afghanistan and Iraq makes us a cruel joke to the rest of the world. Clinton being impeached for lying about oral sex did not.
13.I am pro-choice and anti-death penalty and see absolutely no irony in the fact.
14.I am open, tolerant, and supportive of all races, religions, and beliefs, with the notable exception of Republicans, whom I will shoot at while burning swastikas on their lawns and shoving a “f*** you, demon seed!” sign in their face. Because those sons of bitches are so intolerant they deserve whatever they get.
15.I am stupid enough to allow a multi-millionaire trial attorney convince me he’s for tort reform.
16.I think the mainstream media is completely unbiased, except for that evil right-leaning Fox News.
17.Before October of 2004, I did not know what the word quagmire meant. I now use it in daily conversation.
18.I think that Kerry speaking in black churches about his deep, unbending faith in God is a beautiful gesture, rather than patronizing, blasphemous pandering.
19.I hate George Bush. When pressed, I cannot give a logical argument why, and begin screaming at my challenger instead. I think this makes me look intelligent.
20.I think a Clinton/Kennedy ’08 ticket is just what the party needs, because Hillary and Ted are almost as good as Bill and John.
21.When I look at Teresa Heinz, I think damn, that is one classy First Lady.
22.I will fight to the death for a woman’s right to partial birth abortion, but Saddam Hussein’s rape rooms were none of my business.
23.I truly believe that Michael Moore is the voice of the people, and that he hates this evil enterprise known as capitalism.
24.I refuse to admit that Bush is the first president to fund stem-cell research and scream “I can’t hear you” when anyone mentions the scientific proof that embryonic stem cells have not helped anyone one tiny bit. At all. Ever.
25.The Kool-Aid tasted too damn good.

posted by Jessica at 9:44 PM | Permalink |
Quotes of the Day
Topic of the Day:
"One of the things that draws writers to writing is that they can get things right that they got wrong in real life by writing about them." Tobias Wolf

Verse of the Day:
If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but don't have love, I am nothing."1 Corinthians 13:2

Literary Quote of the Day:
"You said I killed you - haunt me, then! The murdered do haunt their murderers, I believe. I know that ghosts have wandered on earth. Be with me always - take any form - drive me mad! only do not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you!" Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights

posted by Jessica at 1:19 PM | Permalink |
Wednesday, January 26
My inner child is excited

$1 million treasure hunt hidden in pages of fairy tale

That is so cool. It's like looking inside the Wonka wrappers. Only this guy doesn't appear to be wearing a top hat or employing tiny orange men, which, you know, is a plus.

posted by Jessica at 11:32 AM | Permalink | 1 comments
Quotes of the Day
Topic of the day:
"Faith is believing in advance what can only be understood in reverse."0

Verse of the day:
"Be of good cheer; I have overcome the world" John 16:33

Literary quote of the day:
"I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never of any use to oneself." Oscar Wilde, An Ideal Husband

posted by Jessica at 11:27 AM | Permalink | 0 comments
Tuesday, January 25

Posted by Hello
posted by Jessica at 8:04 PM | Permalink | 0 comments
And the laughs just keep on coming.
There's nothing sweeter than to wake up from a nap and see this. And here I thought Jane Fonda was the only communist to get him in trouble.
posted by Jessica at 7:13 PM | Permalink | 0 comments
When I start to feel that maybe the far left is really good at heart, here are a smattering of quotes that bring me crashing back to reality:
''How can 59,054,087 people be so DUMB?''
-UK Mirror

Answer? We don’t listen to our own sniveling, pseudo-intellectual "artistes," so why should we listen to you? Oh, wait. I forgot that Bush-hating is like totally cool, and you’re like totally one of the cool kids, see? You proved it. However, I think the country responsible for The Spice Girls and The Weakest Link should watch who it’s calling dumb. Now why don’t you go back to bailing Prince Harry out of tabloid hell.

"I think now that slavery is taken care of, I'm for letting the South form its own nation. Really, I think they ought to have their own confederacy."
-Bob Beckel

Really, Bob? Do we have your permission? Well hot damn, we been waitin’ for a hundred years to get that particular green light. We down here in the red states (and up here in Alaska) would be tickled pink to get our own country. And contrary to popular opinion, we happily welcome all races as equals. But elitist Yankee bastards need not apply.

"If all of the red states disappeared tomorrow, would we miss them? The blue states are the economic and cultural centers of the world. They are the states that are important."
-Geraldine Ferraro

Ms. Ferraro is absolutely right. Who contributes to the economy more than Washington, D.C.? Who provides more culture than Los Angeles? We here in Jesusland will gladly forfeit all intellectual, artistic, and monetary rights to the power of the blue states. But we’re taking our Jazz, Blues, and Rock ‘n Roll with us.
Furthermore, please edit your student textbooks by removing any and all historical/cultural figures who may have been associated with a *shudder* red state.
You want to save a forest? That oughtta do it.

''The south part of the country is different. People who don't live there don't understand. They believe there are Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq. They are simple people. They are not analytical.''
-Chris Matthews

This should really be included in a separate "Chris Matthews is an asshat" post, but forgive me, I'm incapable of analysis.

"I suppose the good news is that 55 million Americans have evaded the ignorance-inducing machine. But 58 million have not. (Well, almost 58 million—my relatives are not ignorant, they are just greedy and full of classic Republican feelings of superiority.)"
-Jane Smiley

Yeah, Jane. If only your family had watched more Chris Matthews. I think she's mistaking the feeling of "superiority" with the feeling of "nausea" that little Janey's home for Christmas.

posted by Jessica at 4:15 PM | Permalink | 0 comments
Part 2
Finally, a Little Liberal Honesty:
Greetings from Jesusland. It’s been ten days since the election, and it has been a ten days that have yielded one inevitable conclusion. The Democratic Party has lost its damned mind. Granted, no one thought that they would do a dance when Bush handed Kerry’s ass back to him, but this has gone beyond sore losing. If the leaders of the party hope to ever turn another county blue, someone needs to come out and call off the rabid attack dogs, who are barking louder than ever since losing their bite. It seems that every whack job with a pen and paper has engaged in a competition to out-lunacy the rest. From Maureen Dowd to Chris Matthews, the liberal talking heads have spent the past week railing about how stupid Americans are, and then feign ignorance as to why they cannot connect with "the average American." Perhaps they aren’t feigning at all, but that would entail a level of blind arrogance I have trouble believing exists. But in the wake of the Red Sox win and the Hobbit discovery, we’re officially living under a perpetual full moon, and I must come to terms with the mystical. And nothing could be more mystical than how, after being smacked in the face with the truth, the liberal left just.doesn’
I want to end this with the following two definitions:
A group or class of persons or a member of such a group or class, enjoying superior intellectual, social, or economic status ; the best or most skilled members of a group:

A false belief strongly held
in spite of invalidating evidence, especially as a symptom of mental illness
In short? You crazy."

Out of Office, Out of Their Minds
As they insist on hastening their rapid downward spiral, this week liberals have a) stricken a blow to the boy scouts, b) racially insulted the first female African American Secretary of State, and c) hand-delivered an extra-helping of anti-American sentiment to Al-Jazeera. And all by Wednesday. Apparently it’s a fine line between "activist" and "petulant child." Thursday is being dedicated to the opening of the Clinton Library of Rewritten History, the closest thing the Democrats will be getting to an inaugural ball this year. Friday’s to-do list most likely includes insulting any Middle Americans they may have overlooked thus far, taking in another session to deal with their PEST, and playing pretty, pretty princess with Castro and Chirac."

Stupidity is in the Eye of the Loser
This week President George W. Bush will be inaugurated to a second term. He will be bringing with him the first female African-American Secretary of State, providing Condaleeza Rice does not tell a roomful of old, bitter white guys where they can shove their WMDs. Because if there’s anything liberals hate worse than a female Republican, it’s a black female Republican. I mean, it’s almost as if the Republicans don’t hate women and minorities after all! Actually, we don’t "hate" anyone; we just really don't care for ultra left-wing nuts. But while they dislike us as well, there is one key difference, and it is what keeps our side the winning side:
We don’t automatically call every single person who disagrees with us "stupid," which is the left’s favorite and apparently only insult. Bush won because every last one of the fifty-nine million people who voted for him were just plain dumb. Majority of op eds for weeks after the election focused on the varying levels of moronic middle-Americans, from the toothless rednecks to the war-mongering oil tycoons to those really stupid religious freaks. Eventually the writers tired of making themselves feel better by mocking Jesusland and moved on to more pressing matters, like keeping all conservative minorities out of public office. But just in case we’ve already forgotten how incredibly, insanely stupid red staters are, we got a Washington Post editorial this weekend highlighting an Oklahoman Bush supporter. Her crime of unintelligence? Believing John Kerry is pro-abortion and gay marriage. The abject horror. I kid you not. This lady put in her false teeth long enough to hobble down to the church next to Wal-Mart to vote for Bush because she didn’t trust Kerry as far as she could throw him. Dag-nabbit, I can’t believe people that stupid are even allowed to vote."

posted by Jessica at 3:59 PM | Permalink | 0 comments
Rants written before I created the blog but warrant revisiting, pt. 1
On the fake document scandal:
""Oh we have no idea how we were duped by such clever forgeries..." Oh please. A blind Amish man would have known they were fake. We're not talking about some grand criminal mastermind, "king of forgers" here. They're in Times New Roman people. That's one notch above crayon on the 'ol clever-o-meter. Hell, at least Crayola existed in 1972. I *am* insulted by all of this deception. I'm insulted that whoever made these memos up couldn't have walked their ass to a pawn shop and pick up a ten dollar typewriter. How lazy a criminal do you have to be? It makes that guy who robbed a bank in South Carolina with a pitchfork look like a Rhodes Scholar."

On Michael Moore:
"I would debate Michael Moore anytime he'd like. Turns out that's on Monday, the 15th of Never."
"He has the creative capacity of a daschund puppy."

"Everything I know about being a liberal, I learned in kindergarten:
-I’m always right; you’re always wrong.
-Never accept responsibility for my mistakes
-I’m smart and you’re stupid.
-If I cry long enough, maybe I will get my way.
-Blame shift (he did it!)
-If I whine long enough, maybe I will get an extra cookie."

posted by Jessica at 3:50 PM | Permalink | 0 comments

Posted by Hello
posted by Jessica at 1:00 PM | Permalink | 0 comments
Quotes of the Day
Topic of the Day:
"Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones; and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. God is awake." Victor Hugo

Bible Verse of the Day:
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4

Literary Quote of the Day:
". . . from politics, it was an easy step to silence." Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey

posted by Jessica at 11:25 AM | Permalink | 0 comments
Some thoughts on the Oscar nods

Posted by Hello1. Open letter to Michael Moore:
Dear Mike,
Hahahahahahahahahaha! Suck it. Suck it long, and suck it hard.
That is all.
2. In response to the inevitable "yeah well the passion got shut out for best picture too. so there!" I'd like to add that while Mel Gibson does have some asshatish behaviors to answer for this year (Paparazzi being at the top of that list), he did not actively campaign for an Oscar he thought he could politicize his way into winning. That, and the nominations have got to piss off the wacko left, and therefore, are good old-fashioned hilarity.

3. I do not want to live in a world where Eternal Sunshine doesn't win best original screenplay. Thankfully Sideways is in the adapted category, b/c the globes were not a good omen.
4. This is the first year of my life I haven't seen a single Best Picture nominee. Hell, it's the first year I haven't seen four out of five. Note to self: Put Tivo away, drag butt to theater.
5. Go Jamie! Go Kate! Go Cate! Go Clive! Y'all rock :)

posted by Jessica at 10:33 AM | Permalink | 0 comments
Big day in L.A.

Posted by HelloToday comes the Academy Award and Razzie Award nominations. In the self-congratulatory, ego-stroking political race known as "awards season," it is only fitting that the best and worst should be honored on the same day. Oh how I love awards season. My inner child still gets all excited. The gowns! The jewels! The Weinsteins! However, my suggestion is that this year they change the "Best Picture" category to read "You Mean We Made Five Whole Movies This Year That Didn't Suck? Get Out!" b/c really, it is kind of a miracle. Thoughts on individual films to follow...
posted by Jessica at 10:32 AM | Permalink | 0 comments
Stick this in the "yeah, sure" file.
Drudge reporting:
ETProposing new political language about abortion rights for an
increasingly skittish Democratic Party, Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton said
Monday that friends and foes on the issue should come together on "common
ground" to reduce the number of "unwanted pregnancies" and ultimately
abortions, which she called a "sad, even tragic choice to many, many women."
Clinton, in a speech to about 1,000 abortion rights supporters at the state Capitol,
firmly restated her support for Roe v. Wade. But then she offered warm words to
opponents of abortion and said that faith and organized religion were the "primary"
reasons teenagers abstained from sexual relations.

Still not in support in Roe v. Wade? Roe.

Oh Hill, does it ever get tiring talking from both sides of your mouth? Do you
ever get your wires crossed, come out with "faith is a sad, even tragic choice"
or "I'm pro-loice. I mean pro-chife. What in the world can that be?" And please
let me know when you decide if you're going to run in '08 darling. Waiting with
baited breath here. *cough*

posted by Jessica at 1:04 AM | Permalink | 0 comments
Monday, January 24
Because it doesn't.

Posted by Hello
posted by Jessica at 5:25 PM | Permalink | 0 comments
They Said It:
"We have declared a fierce war on this evil principle of democracy, and those who follow this wrong ideology. Anyone who tries to help set up this system is part of it." al-Zarqawi

"These bastards who run our country are a bunch of conniving, thieving, smug pricks who need to be brought down and removed and replaced with a whole new system that we control." Michael Moore

posted by Jessica at 4:37 PM | Permalink | 0 comments
I can only hope this sparks a "boston tea party" style revolt

Stories like this make me miss California. *sniff*

"While the goal is reducing plastic bag pollution, paper was added so as not to discriminate."

Bwah! No, we wouldn't want the paper bags to feel slighted, now would we? Then they'd file a lawsuit and the ACLU would burst into town clothed in paper bags, chanting "what makes plastic so fantastic?" And you know whose fault it would turn out to be, right? Those bastards at Halliburton.

posted by Jessica at 2:56 PM | Permalink | 0 comments
They're not happy about this either,1282,-4751301,00.html

"A crowd of 250 parishioners prayed as the ashes were buried in the Sacred Heart
of Mary Church cemetery, while a handful of protesters gathered nearby holding
signs that read, 'This church is a grave robber.''"

Question begged: Can you rob a grave of "tissue mass"?

posted by Jessica at 2:53 PM | Permalink | 0 comments
This oughtta inspire some backlash. Or at least a good bumper sticker.
"If I have brought any message today, it is this: Have the courage to have your wisdom regarded as stupidity. Be fools for Christ. And have the courage to suffer the contempt of the sophisticated world."

I'm not Catholic, but I love the above statement.

"To believe in traditional Christianity is something else," Scalia said. "For the son of God to be born of a virgin? I mean, really. To believe that he rose from the dead and bodily ascended into heaven? How utterly ridiculous. To believe in miracles?"

Yes, this ought to be received well amongst those who believe the perfection of the universe is a "fortunate accident" and that we should kill unborn children but not murdering rapists. No one that sophisticated should have to suffer us.

Posted by Hello

posted by Jessica at 1:46 PM | Permalink | 0 comments
Quotes of the Day
Topic of the Day:
"I expect to pass through this world but once; any good thing therefore that I can do, or any kindness that I can show to any fellow creature, let me do it now; let me not defer or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again." -Etienne De Grellet

Bible Verse of the Day:
"Then Peter began to speak: 'I now realize how true it is that God does not show favoritism, but accepts men from every nation who fear Him and do what is right." Acts 10: 34-35

Literary Quote of the Day:
"Conventionality is not morality. Self-righteousness is not religion. To attack the first is not to assail the last." -Charlotte Bronte, Jane Eyre

posted by Jessica at 10:30 AM | Permalink | 0 comments
Things You Probably Didn't Overhear at Any Democratic Gathering This Year:

"No, thanks. I have to drive."- Ted Kennedy

"What if Rush is right?"

"He lives in a fruit. Tell me he isn't one

"That's a lovely haircut you're sporting, Sen. Boxer. Supercuts?"

"Great, Greg. Next time you feed the homeless could you spare us a quarter for the Coke machine first?"

"How many friggin' purple hearts does it take people? Honestly!"- John Kerry

"Hey, baby. You're so hot you're a Fahrenheit TEN."

"Wanna see my Halliburton stock portfolio?"

"Praise Jesus!"

"Politics, schmolitics. Can't a guy just act?"

"Do you think Ann Coulter would go out with me?"

"That burning flag really brings out the color of your eyes."

"Your jalopy is double-parked, Mr. Penn."

"With all this money I've sponged off the youth of America, I'm summering in the Hamptons. Capitalism rules!"-Michael Moore

"Maybe it's us."

posted by Jessica at 10:11 AM | Permalink | 0 comments
Sunday, January 23
Quotes of the Day

Topic of the Day: "Miracles are a retelling in small letters of the very same story which is written across the whole world in letters too large for some of us to see." C.S. Lewis

Verse of the day: "With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness..." 2 Peter 3: 8-9

Literary Quote of the Day: " . . . he would have passed a pleasant life of it, in despite of the Devil and all his works, if his path had not been crossed by a being that causes more perplexity to mortal man than ghosts, goblins, and the whole race of witches put together, and that was--a woman." Washington Irving, The Legend of Sleepy Hollow

posted by Jessica at 10:16 AM | Permalink | 0 comments
Interesting point of view

The MSM doesn't show both sides to every story??? Why, say it ain't so darlin'.
I'm shocked. Shocked I tell you! What's next? Just making up the news? Oh wait.

posted by Jessica at 9:22 AM | Permalink | 0 comments
Saturday, January 22
Proud to be an American!

Sigh. I'm glad my grandfather spent thirty years in the Air Force so people like this can burn American flags on street corners. Do they really not get the irony, or are their gas masks just on too tight? Aren't they polluting the ozone layer anyway? It's fragile you know. Someone lights up a flag in D.C. and a blue whale dies. Seriously. You can look it up. Just ask their "experts." But it begs a bigger question really: If Kerry had been elected, would we have burned French flags? Ponder.
posted by Jessica at 9:03 PM | Permalink | 0 comments
ah, what a kidder!

Posted by Hello
posted by Jessica at 4:53 PM | Permalink | 0 comments
Where TV is headed...

Posted by Hello
posted by Jessica at 4:52 PM | Permalink | 0 comments

This is Chloe, otherwise known as The Cutest Dog in the World.
I show off pictures of her like she's my grandchild. Which is
ridiculous, because first I'd need to have children. Or a husband.
Or, well, a date.
Posted by Hello
posted by Jessica at 1:11 PM | Permalink | 0 comments
Friday, January 21
First Post
My family's getting sick of me ranting and raving to them, so I thought I'd do it here instead. Much simpler and a whole lot easier on the vocal chords. In a nutshell, I'm 23 years old, and I've turned into my grandmother. Women frequently worry about turning into their mothers, but this usually occurs closer to middle age. Being the neurotic writer that I am though, I've sped up the process by a decade or two and skipped a generation. Here is my confession: I've become a Dittohead. Yes, that's right: years of ranting about how ridiculous and wrong Limbaugh and all the other Republicans were, and the 2004 election turns me into one. Or, more accurately, back into one. I was raised a Texas Republican, but that was before the years at UCLA. If anything will turn someone liberal, it's living in Los Angeles. Well, that and being a female writer in love with the arts. Those aren't characteristics that scream "conservative" after all. But here I am. John F'n Kerry and the mainstream media orchestrated one too many partisan hit jobs for me not to notice. Being back in Texas also forced me to pull my head out of the movie theater long enough to realize what a big bright world there is out there. I've still got one eye on Hollywood. But now the other's on the Drudge Report.

I'm not writing this to start any sort of partisan bickering. All my best friends are flaming liberals, and quite frankly, I'm happy to agree to disagree. But I also feel us eeevvviiill conservatives oughtta stick together. I got me some stuff to say, and I only get one hour a week of therapy. And us crazy folk need way more time to vent than that.

posted by Jessica at 8:46 PM | Permalink |
"For Brutus says he was ambitious, and Brutus is an honorable man..."

Leave it to the Dems to grab a word and harp on it. Today's word, boys and girls, is "ambitious." Let's all say it together now! What they really mean by "ambitious" is "full of sh*t." Please substitute the latter in all news headlines. For example, "Bush set to open full of sh*t new term," or "Full of sh*t agenda on Bush's plate." Apparently the president has gone from dumbass to evil genius in the past few months. The Dems have a bit of a predicament on that one. If they keep talking about how stupid he is, how stupid does that make them to keep losing to him? If they keep attacking us for being stupid enough to vote for him, well then, way to shore up the vote guys! Nothing like insulting your potential voters. Then again, that seems to be the new democratic party plan. So now Bush gets to be idiot savant, or indeed, evil genius with his grand plan to... Take over the world! To the Democrats, every day in the Oval Office is one long episode of Pinky and the Brain.

"What are we going to do tomorrow night, Dick?"
"The same thing we do every night, George. Try to take over the world."

I guess that makes Michael Moore Whacko. Moving on, I say they really mean "full of sh*t" because no one on the Left or in the media (pretend there's a difference) believe Bush can pull off any part of his inaugural speech. They're too busy playing Debbie Downer. Only the left could openly mock a speech about freedom and democracy and get away with it. Only the left could openly mock a person's religious beliefs and get away with it. They've done both this week, but it's a small price to pay for John Kerry needing opera glasses to see from his seat. I suppose they wanted a more "realistic" speech, perhaps along the lines of:

"My fellow Americans,
Life's a b*tch and then you die. With a bomb strapped to your chest. Let's face it, we can't stop every nutjob in the world with plastic explosive and access to the internet. Why even bother? Sure they'll kill a few people now and then, but so what? Everyone's gotta die sometime. If there's ever a real problem, France and Germany will give us a head's up. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go kick back with a glass of iced tea in Crawford and watch me some football playoffs. Call me in 2008. Or in the event you get tired of whining, whichever comes first. God Bless Texas."

You know, something like that. They better be careful with this "ambitious" crap though. Brutus tried to pull it on Caesar, and Antony pimp-slapped him for it. Just sayin'.

posted by Jessica at 7:56 PM | Permalink | 0 comments