Friday, January 21
"For Brutus says he was ambitious, and Brutus is an honorable man..."

Leave it to the Dems to grab a word and harp on it. Today's word, boys and girls, is "ambitious." Let's all say it together now! What they really mean by "ambitious" is "full of sh*t." Please substitute the latter in all news headlines. For example, "Bush set to open full of sh*t new term," or "Full of sh*t agenda on Bush's plate." Apparently the president has gone from dumbass to evil genius in the past few months. The Dems have a bit of a predicament on that one. If they keep talking about how stupid he is, how stupid does that make them to keep losing to him? If they keep attacking us for being stupid enough to vote for him, well then, way to shore up the vote guys! Nothing like insulting your potential voters. Then again, that seems to be the new democratic party plan. So now Bush gets to be idiot savant, or indeed, evil genius with his grand plan to... Take over the world! To the Democrats, every day in the Oval Office is one long episode of Pinky and the Brain.

"What are we going to do tomorrow night, Dick?"
"The same thing we do every night, George. Try to take over the world."

I guess that makes Michael Moore Whacko. Moving on, I say they really mean "full of sh*t" because no one on the Left or in the media (pretend there's a difference) believe Bush can pull off any part of his inaugural speech. They're too busy playing Debbie Downer. Only the left could openly mock a speech about freedom and democracy and get away with it. Only the left could openly mock a person's religious beliefs and get away with it. They've done both this week, but it's a small price to pay for John Kerry needing opera glasses to see from his seat. I suppose they wanted a more "realistic" speech, perhaps along the lines of:

"My fellow Americans,
Life's a b*tch and then you die. With a bomb strapped to your chest. Let's face it, we can't stop every nutjob in the world with plastic explosive and access to the internet. Why even bother? Sure they'll kill a few people now and then, but so what? Everyone's gotta die sometime. If there's ever a real problem, France and Germany will give us a head's up. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go kick back with a glass of iced tea in Crawford and watch me some football playoffs. Call me in 2008. Or in the event you get tired of whining, whichever comes first. God Bless Texas."

You know, something like that. They better be careful with this "ambitious" crap though. Brutus tried to pull it on Caesar, and Antony pimp-slapped him for it. Just sayin'.

posted by Jessica at 7:56 PM | Permalink |