On the fake document scandal:
""Oh we have no idea how we were duped by such clever forgeries..." Oh please. A blind Amish man would have known they were fake. We're not talking about some grand criminal mastermind, "king of forgers" here. They're in Times New Roman people. That's one notch above crayon on the 'ol clever-o-meter. Hell, at least Crayola existed in 1972. I *am* insulted by all of this deception. I'm insulted that whoever made these memos up couldn't have walked their ass to a pawn shop and pick up a ten dollar typewriter. How lazy a criminal do you have to be? It makes that guy who robbed a bank in South Carolina with a pitchfork look like a Rhodes Scholar."
On Michael Moore:
"I would debate Michael Moore anytime he'd like. Turns out that's on Monday, the 15th of Never."
"He has the creative capacity of a daschund puppy."
"Everything I know about being a liberal, I learned in kindergarten:
-I’m always right; you’re always wrong.
-Never accept responsibility for my mistakes
-I’m smart and you’re stupid.
-If I cry long enough, maybe I will get my way.
-Blame shift (he did it!)
-If I whine long enough, maybe I will get an extra cookie."
From:
About me: “'But I don’t want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked. 'Oh, you can’t help that,' said the Cat. 'We’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad.' 'How do you know I’m mad?' said Alice. 'You must be,” said the Cat, 'or you wouldn’t have come here.'” -Lewis Carroll