Tuesday, March 1
Awards that should've beeen handed out:
Stupidest Celebrity Trend:
"I'm an environmentalist for life." - Leonardo DiCaprio, who arrived at the Oscars in a "fuel-efficient vehicle" rather than the traditional limo
Who then proceeded to hotbox the entire Hollywood Hills at an after party he threw with agent Patrick Whitesell. B.Y.O. Weed.

Least likely to ever write a Best Original Screenplay:

Hilary Swank "I'm just a girl from a trailer park who had a dream."

Most Desperate Housewife:

"I wanted to introduce each of the foreign language films in the appropriate language ... but unfortunately there just isn't time." - Gwyneth Paltrow


Proof positive that Gwyneth is incapable of speaking for longer than three seconds without saying something snotty, elitist, and thoroughly stupid. Let’s skip the fact that she had zero reason to be there other than to scoop up her Oscar basket , show off her maternity boobs, and start rumors of a breakup with hubby Chris Martin. (For every week Paltrow stays out of the tabloids, she gets a new wrinkle) “Look at me! Look at me! I’m still here! Worship me!!”


Most Shameless Display by a Mediocre Former Best Actress Winner:

Julia Roberts! Not content with her humiliating attempt to smother Denzel Washington when she presented him with his Best Actor Oscar, Roberts attempts to top herself by marking Best Director winner Clint Eastwood with her Taboo Red lipstick.

Saddest Attempt at Humor By Former SNL Cast Members:

Chris Rock “fills in” for “no-show” Catherine Zeta-Jones with Adam Sandler.

Worst Way to Keep Production Costs Down:

Hiring Beyonce to perform three of the five Best Song nominees. Worse still? It meant Jay-Z having a front-row seat at the Oscars.

Best Use of a Trashbag as Couture:

Natalie Portman

Best Performance by a Non-Nominee:

Sean Penn giving Chris Rock the smackdown for making fun of Jude Law earlier in the program. Awkward, show-stopping, and fabulous.
 
posted by Jessica at 12:03 AM | Permalink |