Saturday, April 29
Jake Gyllenhaal is an asshole.
Gyllenhaal Offends Gulf War Veterans

JAKE GYLLENHAAL has shocked American Gulf War veterans by joking they did nothing but "masturbate" during their time in the desert in 1991. The cheeky 25-year-old stars in JARHEAD, a movie exposing the US soldiers' lack of combat in the Middle Eastern conflict. He said, "The US soldiers were sent to the desert for 122 days and they sat in the same tent and did nothing, except a little too much masturbating."
You know what Jake was doing during the Gulf War? Completing the 5th grade, just like me. Unlike me, he is a Hollywood-raised liberal "Buddhist" who likes to star in crap action movies about how global warming will kill us all in like a day. He may have lost that Oscar to Clooney, but he does however win today's STFU award. Congrats, Jake. Shut it.
posted by Jessica at 11:13 PM | Permalink |